So the NFL Draft was last night and the Packers passed up on drafting Johnny Manziel with their pick (smart move, HA HA will ball out on the field no doubt.) But I’m sitting here in the library, hungover off Jamo and Whiskey and I can’t help but see so many similarities between me and Johnny Football. So here goes nothing.
1.) Nicknames- Johnny Football is such a money nickname like seriously, your first name followed by the sport you play shouldn’t be such a dope nickname but it is. Then I look over at myself who took some initials out of his first and last name and compiled it into a pretty tight nickname. Honestly would just have to flip a coin to figure out who’s nickname is better, but either way I don’t even believe half my friend or ppl I see at the Bull even know what my first or last name is.
2.) We Both Ravage In Sports- So Johnny Football tears it up on the football field versus SEC competition and I was backup quarterback for my high school football team. Not a huge difference in my opinion. He makes 300pound lineman miss, I make people miss my flags in flag football, just another way we’re similar. Fucker throws up the money signs after he scores a touchdown, I do the riverdance or the Gronkowski spike. Kid just balls out on the field, can’t even act like we’re in the same ballpark in this one. I do however RAKE on the softball diamond… “Wake and Rake” kids it’s a lifestyle.
Best Touchdown celebration ever??
3.) We both enjoy getting belligerent- I enjoy the crap out of going out with my friends and just having a good time, with bottomless W-Cokes and Miller Latte cups, occasionally I will get a little too frisky and do shit I’m not the most proud of but hey it’s something me and Johnny Manziel have in common. I’m just going to share these pics with you and you can decide who’s life is more sick.
Is that a fucking sparkler in his mouth? Seriously such a power move. Hot blonde on his hip and bro’s having the time of their life partying with him.
Johnny is just cooked in this picture, can’t even look up at the camera or stand up straight, such a boss. Can these girls just let the dude breathe for a second instead of dumping champagne down his throat. By the way everytime I drink champagne at weddings they have the rename the dance floor after me because I cut a fuggin rug. I might just walk around the Bull with a bottle of Whiskey like this.
Ok, this might be my favorite pic of Johnny Football ever, scooby doo costume for halloween and bitties are just flocking to him. A couple of 9.9/10’s on each shoulder will play. This is relatable to when I dressed up as Fred Flinstone or Harry from Dumb and Dumber, pretty much too easy to get girls attention when you rock those outfits. I know what i’m being for Halloween next year, Scooby Doo will play.
4.) We can’t keep our eyes open in pictures- Woke up and i’m pretty flustered with myself, just didn’t put on a good performance in front of the camera for one of our blog readers 21st birthday party, Either was really tired or the Whiskey woudn’t allow my eyes to open. No worries, Johnny Football has this same problem.
5.) We Both Love Money- So his parents ran a multi-million dollar oil rigging field and I grew up on a farm in Seymour, honestly no big difference. Johnny Football sold his autograph in college to make money, i’d do the same exact thing, seriously if I can get $30,000 dollar in my pocket for signing my name i’d do it too. I love hustling, making money, being entreprenurial, i’ll own my own business one day and be my own boss. Just the way it has to be.
Couldn’t find the pic of me sleeping on a bed full of $100 bills but it does exist.
5.) Meeting Johnny Football Story Time-
So me and my buddy were in Indianapolis for the NFL Combine and we see a flock of people sorrounding someone and we find out it’s Johnny Football. I worked my IPhone hard and it went dead as I was getting my camera ready for a selfie with Johnny Manziel. Luckily my buddy had it ready and just as Johnny Football was about to raid the Nike Shoe store he looked up and put on a million dollar smile in this pic with us. Seriously the best pic of my life to date. Dude has so much swag, I cracked a joke and made Johnny Football geek out so that was pretty tight. As you can see i’m trying to run the Johnny Football hairstyle here. Not as good obvi but it’ll play.
The list of similarities between us are endless, gonna cut it off here and do some actual homework.