Humor

How to Cope With a Packers Loss!!

I get so Damn Depressed after a PACKERS LOSS!! So here is my recipe on how to cope with tonight’s depressing loss. 

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1. Drink And Drink Heavily!!

 This One is pretty much a given.  You drink in celebration after a Packers Win, and drown yourself by drinking into depression after a packers loss.  Hell I’m in my parents house laying in me bed right now by myself sipping on Bloody Vagina’s/Bloody V’s (Cranberry Vodkas).

2. Where Black The Day After

I got this tradition from my sophomore History teacher in High School.  I noticed every time after the packers loss he was wearing black the following day.  Ever since I noticed that I have been doing the same thing. Since I will be working at my dream job the OG tomorrow I will be wearing black anyways.

3. Don’t Watch Sportscenter

I can’t watch Sportscenter for about a week.  I can’t bear to hear them talk about the Packers losing.  Its like breaking up with your now EX GF, you don’t want to keep talking about it.  You wan’t to move one and forget about it.  Plus I don’t need some lousy peasant named JAWS telling me what the Packers did wrong in their last loss.  I know what they fuggin did wrong, now get out. 

4. Drink Some More

Seriously drink so much that you don’t even remember the game.  Drink so much that when you come back from the bathroom puking you wonder why your butt ass naked.  Except for the bathroom rug wrapped around you, that may or may not have happended to me before.  Bloody V’s will do that to you…

If there are a lot of Grammar Errors in this I don’t give a damn I am drunk..

-Swaggy C 

Tell ALL Story On How Much KASH loves his LIFE!!!

I figure its about time I write a blog again since KASH has been sweating me hard these past couple of weeks.  As some of you may remember my last blog was about how much I hate the Badgers and BO LION.  Well they ended up proving me wrong and making it to the FINAL FOURSOME where they got just got there hearts crushed.  Pretty sure KASH spiked my lemonades because I was actually starting to cheer for the badgers.  Well AnyWays the BADGERS still suck.

Now let’s get to the juicy part.  I don’t think I have ever met a person that loves their life more than KASH.  When I first met KASH he had me laughing practically every second he spoke.  The kid just seeks the attention by using his famous words like greasy, withered, flustered, legend, and so on even ask the rest of the bros.  I also don’t think I have ever gotten more belligerent with anyone else.

Just this last thur KASH walks into Cock N Bull with more swagg than anyone else I have ever seen.  He had hunnies all over him, I thought JOHNNY Fucking Manziel just walked through the door.  He sent me a text before he got there just saying that he was going to have a few dewskies. 10151186_10152059866595642_1173531156673837610_n And of course people are already handing this legend free WCokes.  Next thing I know an hour goes by, 4 WCokes later and a shot of Jamie and this kid is blitzed out of his minda and is the life of the party.

That was just one of the man
y instances KASH took the Bull by the Horns and tore them right off.  KASH also lives for the FUTSAL life, TENNIS life, and SOFTBALL life.  He likes to think hes Ronaldo on the fustal pitch, Federer on the tennis court, and Braun on the softball diamond.  But hey I guess everyone has dreams. hahaha  A couple weeks ago I decide to take KASH on at the tennis court after I havent played for about two years.  I raveged him in the first set and I’ve never seen a kid so flustered in my life.  You would have thought he just visited the devil and came back to earth.  Thats how much fire was in his eyes.  He ended up coming back and blowing me out of the court as if I would have played better not even tryin at all.

However KASH is the BEST FRIEND I could ever have.  Even though he pisses me off sometimes especially when he screens my phone calls.  If you ever want to get a hold of this kid never call him just send him a snap chat.  hahah  Love you Brother!!

This is KASH and I’s SONG That always gets us pumped up for the bull!!!

Be sure to Catch Us Getting WHITE BOY WASTED at the BULL this THUR

 

-Swaggy C

What Johnny Football and K.A.S.H. Have In Common

So the NFL Draft was last night and the Packers passed up on drafting Johnny Manziel with their pick (smart move, HA HA will ball out on the field no doubt.) But I’m sitting here in the library, hungover off Jamo and Whiskey and I can’t help but see so many similarities between me and Johnny Football. So here goes nothing.

1.) Nicknames- Johnny Football is such a money nickname like seriously, your first name followed by the sport you play shouldn’t be such a dope nickname but it is. Then I look over at myself who took some initials out of his first and last name and compiled it into a pretty tight nickname. Honestly would just have to flip a coin to figure out who’s nickname is better, but either way I don’t even believe half my friend or ppl I see at the Bull even know what my first or last name is. 

2.) We Both Ravage In Sports- So Johnny Football tears it up on the football field versus SEC competition and I was backup quarterback for my high school football team. Not a huge difference in my opinion. He makes 300pound lineman miss, I make people miss my flags in flag football, just another way we’re similar. Fucker throws up the money signs after he scores a touchdown, I do the riverdance or the Gronkowski spike. Kid just balls out on the field, can’t even act like we’re in the same ballpark in this one. I do however RAKE on the softball diamond… “Wake and Rake” kids it’s a lifestyle. 

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Best Touchdown celebration ever??

 

3.) We both enjoy getting belligerent- I enjoy the crap out of going out with my friends and just having a good time, with bottomless W-Cokes and Miller Latte cups, occasionally I will get a little too frisky and do shit I’m not the most proud of but hey it’s something me and Johnny Manziel have in common. I’m just going to share these pics with you and you can decide who’s life is more sick.

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Is that a fucking sparkler in his mouth? Seriously such a power move. Hot blonde on his hip and bro’s having the time of their life partying with him. 

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Johnny is just cooked in this picture, can’t even look up at the camera or stand up straight, such a boss. Can these girls just let the dude breathe for a second instead of dumping champagne down his throat. By the way everytime I drink champagne at weddings they have the rename the dance floor after me because I cut a fuggin rug. I might just walk around the Bull with a bottle of Whiskey like this.

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Ok, this might be my favorite pic of Johnny Football ever, scooby doo costume for halloween and bitties are just flocking to him. A couple of 9.9/10’s on each shoulder will play. This is relatable to when I dressed up as Fred Flinstone or Harry from Dumb and Dumber, pretty much too easy to get girls attention when you rock those outfits. I know what i’m being for Halloween next year, Scooby Doo will play.

4.) We can’t keep our eyes open in pictures- Woke up and i’m pretty flustered with myself, just didn’t put on a good performance in front of the camera for one of our blog readers 21st birthday party, Either was really tired or the Whiskey woudn’t allow my eyes to open. No worries, Johnny Football has this same problem.

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5.) We Both Love Money- So his parents ran a multi-million dollar oil rigging field and I grew up on a farm in Seymour, honestly no big difference. Johnny Football sold his autograph in college to make money, i’d do the same exact thing, seriously if I can get $30,000 dollar in my pocket for signing my name i’d do it too. I love hustling, making money, being entreprenurial, i’ll own my own business one day and be my own boss. Just the way it has to be. 

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Couldn’t find the pic of me sleeping on a bed full of $100 bills but it does exist.

 

5.) Meeting Johnny Football Story Time-

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So me and my buddy were in Indianapolis for the NFL Combine and we see a flock of people sorrounding someone and we find out it’s Johnny Football. I worked my IPhone hard and it went dead as I was getting my camera ready for a selfie with Johnny Manziel. Luckily my buddy had it ready and just as Johnny Football was about to raid the Nike Shoe store he looked up and put on a million dollar smile in this pic with us. Seriously the best pic of my life to date. Dude has so much swag, I cracked a joke and made Johnny Football geek out so that  was pretty tight. As you can see i’m trying to run the Johnny Football hairstyle here. Not as good obvi but it’ll play.

 

The list of similarities between us are endless, gonna cut it off here and do some actual homework.

Stay sweet,

K.A.S.H.

 

5 People Who Fluster Me

Hey guys just sitting here drinking a spotted cow and got flustered out of the blue, so here’s a list of people who fluster me lately.

1.) Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne

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I saw these two guido’s this past weekend during the Floyd Mayweather fight and they flustered the piss out of me. Seriously can the Biebs just get deported or run his car into a ditch. I’ll admit I sing a few of his songs on occasion, but the kid has just become an arrogrant fuck and I hate how he tries to act all hard. He needs to get an asskicking to put him in his place.

Lil Wayne- Has the dude even come out with a banger (Hot Song) in the last 5 years, dude is just irrelevant, walking around drunk off sizzurp and hanging out at skate parks. Trust me I used to love Lil Wayne’s music back in the day, but dude is just tired.

Yes Wayne, you want to fight with a dude and his Mexican click who almost just beat the best boxer in the world. Child Please

 

2.) Todd McShay (Espn NFL Draft Analyst)

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Whenever I see this dude on ESPN chirping about the NFL Draft, I want to throw my cereal bowl at the screen. Dude never played a down of football since pop warner and acts like he knows all the intangibles of a good football player. Piss off bro, just watch ESPN for a day and tell me one ounce of your body likes this guy. Guess how old this guy is….??????

37 years old, damn gotta give him props on his aging there

 

3.) People who bring weird shit to baseball games

I’ve seen so many pictures on the internet of people who are doing other shit that watching the baseball game at a baseball game, just flusters me. Enjoy the scenery around you, order up a miller latte and strike up a convo with the people around you. This is coming for a guy who showers with his IPhone.

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Bitch thinks she’s picasso, hope a foul ball smokes your painting

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Bro is just grinding Facebook at a baseball game. I’m deleting my Facebook by the way. Way too many pregnant bitties posting pics, and people jumping in lakes.

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My God, I could see my mom doing this just grinding groupon or deal chicken looking for deals on vacations and restaraunts.

4.) Starbucks Barista’s

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You’ve heard of tennis elbow — but barista elbow? As the demand for specialty coffee drinks continues to grow — in the United States alone, it’s a $30-billion-a-year business — java slingers are suffering severe injuries. “I grabbed a gallon full of milk and felt a sharp pain in my left wrist,” says Samantha Lino, 23, a former Starbucks barista. “I struggled not to drop it.” 

Oh Boo Fucking Hoo, i worked some withered summer jobs in my day, landscaping jobs where I can’t even walk in my steel toe’s anymore, carting around wheel-barrells full of rocks and this bittie sprained her wrist holding a 2lb milk jug. If you work at Starbucks no offense to you, just flusters me that this chick who slings coffee all day is crying about a little manual labor. I’ll take a Tall Vente French Vanilla, and please don’t spell my name “Kile” 

 

5.) Baseball Coach—

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d52_1399143629

This baseball coach is such a hardo, seriously dude get a fricken grip. Kid is growing his hair out to cut it and give it to cancer patients and you’re going to kick him off the team for it?? This isn’t the fucking New York Yankees where you need to be clean shaven, it’s high school baseball bro. Might wanna pump the breaks on this one coach. Side Story: I got yelled at in Little League for crushing a hot dog in the on-deck circle. Still went out there and raked (hit the shit out of the baseball.)

 

Super flustered right now you guys, going to go finish up this presentation for BCarr’s class tomorrow. Will crack a few jokes and try and beat Fisch’s 98% on it. Kid should just open up his own advertising company.

I do have a little something in store for when I get my diploma.

Going to buy a guitar and learn how to play, so I can play around the bonfire this summer for my friends, prolly just move to Nashville and try and make it Big Time.

Little country tune to nibble on:

 

K.A.S.H.

Ass Spank Prank

Hey guys it’s K.A.S.H. here, was just grinding YouTube and found this gem of a video. Watch before you read my take on it!

P.S. I swear i’m not that immature, but this made me laugh.

1.) The way this chick turns and says “dude you seriously just grabbed my ass” just sells the shit out of the prank, the guys who she calls out just shit themselves because they think the police are coming to arrest them for sexual assault. Phenominal acting. She’s the next fucking Jenny Lawrence if you ask me.

2.) Honestly these two deserve a fucking Oscar for their acting, the way the bro quickly walks and give her a love tap as he walks by, then stares at the ground and quickly walks away. Props to you bro i’d be geeking out.

3.) If this happened to me…..- If some chick turned around in the hallway calling me out for grabbing her hiney, and I was just innocently swiping left and right on Tinder I don’t know how i’d react. I’d probably just buy her a fucking cappucino from Starbucks and she’d be on her way.

4.) Like Literally there is nothing else you could accuse a dude of in public that would make him just turn into a “Stuttering Stanley” and make him quiver in his boots.

5.) This chick is a solid 9……

 

**** I need to do this on campus, need a girl to let me give her a love tap on the booty as I walk by, as you call out the poor bastard dude who happened to be walking behind you.

***** I do think this would be funny as fuck if we reversed roles. *Now Hiring: A girl who will walk by and squeeze my buns of steel and a former Calvin Klein underwear model’s tush. — Pretty easy gig if you ask me, will pay in any alcohol of your choice at The Bull during Double Bubble.

Why the hell did I even blog about this, makes no sense

 

May post the blog on the  “No Makeup Challenge” that’s going around on Facebook. Seriously just snapchat me a selfie, i’ll screenshot it then you can feel pretty.

 

K.A.S.H.

Hot Dogs or Legs???

This is going to be a quick little blog, but K.A.S.H. woke up without a hangover so I’m feeling freaking great and decided to blog a bit before I watch the NCAA Tournament all day while crushing Cool Ranch Doritos and Miller Lattes. This blog is going to be about my favorite thing to snapchat people probably once a month.

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I’m blogging about a game I was introduced to this summer, called Hot Dogs or Legs,

Situation: You’re wearing shorts on the couch or beach and you put your legs together to look like a couple of hot dogs, then you send it to everyone on your snapchat and watch them all freak out. 

Reactions: I’ve gotten reactions stemming from people like “oh fuck off dude, those are your legs or some pale, tired ass hot dogs” then there are people who actually believe those hairy ass thighs are hot dogs and that’s where shit gets funny.

Types of legs: Pretty funny when bro’s send it with their hairy ass tree trunks and will lie till the end of time that those are indeed hot dogs they sent, but then you got the girls who can pull it off. Fresh off a shave with some Skintimate lotion in the shower and a nice spray tan you could have my dumbass believing you felt the need to throw up a pair of hot dogs in front of your phone and take a selfie.

 

Just finished this blog and realized it’s fucking pointless, eh fuck it, you hang out with me you’ll see and hear a lot more dumb random shit.

 

Let’s go Wisconsin tonight, fuck the Ducks.

 

K.A.S.H.

4 People Who Can Go Play in Traffic

Hey guys were halfway through Spring Break and i’m still flustered as all hell i’m not in PCB passed out on the beach right now, but I got a few minutes of free time and decided to blog. Here are 5 people who i’d like to go play in traffic and possibly get run over by a Diesel Truck.

1.) Farrah Abraham- Former Teen Mom Star

“Blowin” is Farrahs  new single, I swear to God I listened to 30 seconds and it was the worst fucking song i’ve ever heard in my life, even worse than “Friday”. She’s a skank who is a terrible mother and I hate her for that. In this song she’s supposed to be singing about her relationship with her daughter, yet the whole video consists of her showing off her fake melons while grinding in the club. I’m flustered, no Farrah I won’t follow your dumbass on Twitter. So bent right now.

2.) Tom Crean Errrrrrrr Dwight Schrute 

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I’m a huge Badgers fan so i’ve hated Crean since he was trying to steal Wisconsin’s recruits at Marquette. I hate Indiana fans ever since they beat us this year at their house and stormed the court, like really you’re supposed to be a top 5 prestigious basketball program GTFO. When Indiana didn’t make the NCAA Tournament this year and reasoned why they didn’t play in the CBI (a tournament for shitty teams) “We’re Indiana, we don’t play in the CBI”. Fuck of Hoosiers

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Crean is such a daisy pusher, you won’t see Bo Ryan frenching Sam Dekker on the sidelines.

3.) Everyone in PCB

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I know I know it’s my fault for not getting a group of people together to go to PCB or offering to drive the Diesel to Florida but i’m unbelievably pissed right now. I should be on a beach drinking out of a fucking sand pale right now, bonging beers, and hitting on girls from Tennessee, like if I could picture heaven, this would be it. I’m an A-Hole for not going, but idc if i’ll be graduated next year, if I get 1 weeks vacation i’m going to PCB. So many dimes just walking around on the beach ready to be chirped at by a lobster chested K.A.S.H. Where else can you wake up at 11am, and start bonging beers on the beach, and if you happen to boot just throw some sand over it. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

4.) One of my Professors 

So I had the picture of this professor posted but decided I’d like to graduate. I’ll describe his ass after I tell the story why i’m flustered. So I hand in something late because I forgot it at home because I was worried about more important school shit, and dude drops a “to be fair to the class I can’t accept it.” You have no idea how bad I wanted to reply to him, dear professor “you’re a cock gobbler” I’m still so flusted that I did the assgnment and dude shuns me. I should put his dumbass on blast. Fugg off AG. peasant.

A couple miscellaneous thoughts I realized over Spring Break

1.) The show “True Detective” ravages! Mchonaguey is such a boss, I wanna talk like him

2.) Tinder Ravages- app is great, so many chicks- prolly meet my future wife on there

3.) UWGB men’s bball team didn’t make the tourney because Keifer wasn’t healthy and the selection committee knew that.

4.) I have a 3-4 day bender lined up for this weekend.

5.) i’m going to be withered at all  my Monday classed

K.A.S.H.

9 Rules of Snapchat

Hey guys it’s midterm week and my brain is fuggin fried, so i’m chillin in the library and decided to blog instead of study. Me in the library pretty much includes me tweeting and snapchatting, because those are good things to put on your resume for when you graduate. Anyways quick rant i’m flustered at a professor dropping a 10 page paper on my ass before spring break, but anyways I killed it with my bullshitting so it’s all gucci.

Snapchat is the greatest fucking invention ever, and I get all fired up when I leave my phone and don’t return to any snaps, might as well go jump off a bridge if you don’t receive any snaps in a day. It got me to thinking what are the 10 no-no’s of snapchat.

1.) Max of 2 “My Story’s” a Day- First off people already abuse MyStory and put up retarded shit from the start, but it gets worse when some daisy pusher puts up fucking 10 My Story’s in 1 day, I shit you not I had a friend with a 100 second MyStory. Now you’re just abusing the purpose of snapchat and don’t whine and bitch when I delete your ass, because I’m not about to sit through you petting your fucking cat or your 10 different workouts  you did at the gym. GTFO of here you attention craving peasant. P.S. I posted this MyStory a few weeks back. Gonna go ahead and give myself an A+ for this story

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This dude just beats chicks off with a stick.

2.) No Picks of Dicks or Shits- I have a few select friends who act like they’re 12 years old and find it funny to send me pics of them after they’ve dropped a log in their toilet. I truly do not appreciate waking up from a bender at “The Bull” wiping the sand out of my eyes and seeing your put a snake in the toilet. Grow the fuck up. I’ll allow you to do this to me once before I confront you and cut you out of my life. If you send a pick of your dick you should just go play in traffic.No fake corn dogs either

3.) Mass Selfie Snap Rule- Or otherwise know as “Snapdultery”- I don’t care what anyone says, snapchat is an incredible icebreaker when you first get a girls number. Such a great way to be able to flirt without throwing fucking tired ass winkey faces in your texts. Story time: I had this girl who I met, we hit it off pretty well and she’s sending me probably 5 selfies a day. Me being the dumbass I am thought they were only going to me and started to think sparks were flying. Turns out she was sending the same pics to like 10 dudes, I felt like I was cheated on, deleted her ass and called it a day. Don’t commit “Snapdultery” ladies.

4.) No Pets/ Significant Other Snaps- I think dogs are fucking cute as a button and it’s cool if you send me a few snaps of him licking his balls or humping a pillow, but if you send me a pic of you holding him 3x a day saying “isn’t he cute?” I will respond looks like a fucking rat even if deep inside i’m melting with how cute he is. Also had a girl who I thought was single send me a pic of her and her “boyfriend” cuddling. Like GTFO out of here, one don’t try and play me like a fidle and too cuddle, take a pic and put it as your fucking wallpaper on your phone.

5.) No 1 second snaps- This flusters the piss out of me, someone send a 1 second snap and my dumbass is crushing a Chipotle burrito with one hand and opening your snap with the other. WTF do you think i’m paying more attentiion too, don’t cocktease me with that 1 second snap shit. This is worse than the girl you give a ride home and she says she’d totally makeout with you if she wasn’t sick (experience from a buddy of mine) Give me 3 seconds grace period you guys.

6.) No Screenshots of me when I send funny pics of myself and putting it on Instagram-

A few nights ago I had a few too many Spotted Cows and was sending funny pics to a few of my close “friends” you know the pics where you look like you have fucking 3 chins and you just saw a fucking ghost. Those type of pics. One of my buddies decided it would be funny if they screenshotted these pictures, and collaged them and put them on Instagram. This is such a communist move, i’m surprised i still talk to this kid, only screenshot if it’s something epic. I’m still flustered.

7.) No snaps of your delicious ass food- If you know me you know I love to crush greasy food on occassion. So don’t send me a heaping plate of chinese food, in and out burger, five guys, bbq ribs or whatever you’re eating for dinner, while i’m eating a tired ass orv’s pizza at home. There’s just no reason to tease lard asses like me, so take note friends.

8.) Don’t send me a pic of your $180 paycheck all in $20’s This is such a hardo move when ppl try to be fucking Donald Trump sending me a pic of all their small bill to make it look like a wad of cash. Dude unless you’re smacking a brick of 100$ bennie franklins off an attractive girl’s ass I don’t care to see that today was payday.

9.) Don’t be the guy/girl who just views people’s snapchats and never responds- I used to associate with a few people like this, these people deserve a kick in the nuts, what are you too cool to send me a snapchat back? Are you too busy to send me a greasy pic of your face, these people who sign up for snapchat just to see what funny stuff people send them need to take a watermelon in the face like this gal.

Tell me how her nose isn’t just seriously a pile of mush after that.

Till next time friends

K.A.S.H.

10 Reasons Why Twitter is Better Than Facebook

Hey guys haven’t blogged in a while because I was too busy chilling with Johnny Football Manziel, and making that money, but i’m getting the urge to blog before this tired ass class.

I recently noticed i’ve been using Twitter 100x more than i’ve been using Facebook lately, and i’m going to tell you why Twitter is better than Facebook.

1.) I Can Unfollow You Instead of Unfriend- We’ve all had it before where you meet some drunk bro/girl at the bar and they want to add you on Facebook immediatley, I usually oblige (especially if it’s a girl) and then I wake up the next morning feeling like shit seeing they are fucking annoying. That or you add someone from one of your class groups from school to be able to contact each other easier, but you don’t want to delete them off the Book because you might see them in the hallways and shit just gets awkward. Fuck that on Twitter i’ll click unfollow and go on to the next one, it’s a beautiful thing.

2.) My aunts/12 year old cousins are on it- Story time: I remember back in the days when K.A.S.H. used to get beligerantly drunk and pictres would appear on Facebook from some rando’s who I was mingling with at the bar. My 45 year old aunt comes up to me asking how my partying life is going, and who’s the girl i’m in the pic with is? FUCK THIS. this is my sign to get off Facebook and never come back, no old people should be able to see me when i’ve had about 8 too many Miller Lite’s or i’m trying to swing a girl, this just pisses me off. Another thing is my 12 year old cousins asking me to play FarmVille and asking what I mean when I put up some funny status, shit just bothers the hell outta me. There should be a Facebook for the following ages. 10-17 year old, 18-30 year olds, 30-90 year olds.

3.) Twitter keeps is short, Facebook is story telling time-  Ok, once in a while i’ll throw a nice little few sentence message out their for my Facebook fans in a post. Do not get this confused with people going on a fricken tangent posting about their fucking day or their workout, or relationship. Honestly GTFO of here you annoying peasants. Drop 140 characters on me and if you can’t do it in that amount of characters odds are whatever you’re saying is irrelevant.

4.) Selfies- Little disclaimer: Every girl i’m friends with on Facebook,I’m not referring to you, considering i’ve deleted the selfie whores. I shit you not I used to be friends with this chick who posted 3 selfies a day, 1 in the morning, another mid day and one at night in the mirror before bed. It took everything in my power to not comment smart ass comments on these pics. I understand there are days you’re looking good and a selfie is needed and i’m cool with this because you girls are beautiful, but i’m referring to the girl who posts selfies everyday to see how many likes she can get. Just snapped a sick selfie, gonna post of Facebook, prolly get about 3 likes.

P.S.- I pray one day a girl who always posts selfies gets no likes the whole day.. Evil I know but may be some good medicine for her to cool it

5.) PPL who post 5 statuses a day- I’m sorry but if you do this, you’re a fucking loser. I don’t give a fuck: where you ate, how great your workout felt, how blessed you are, what movie you just watched, or what you think about this weather. I do however like this stuff if you post it on Twitter where i can scroll quickly.

7.) Twitter is strictly words not pictures- There are a few times (more Than I can count on both hands) where i’ve slapped The Bull too hard at Cock ‘N Bull or did some regrettable shit when out having a few sodas, but nothing flusters me more than when i’m just all Hammed up and I wake up to 12 just hideous pictures of me doing dumb shit. This is where snapchat should be utilized. Only pic you’ll find of me on Twitter is me looking clean in a baby blue vest, rocking the suit jacket over my shoulder. Such a power move.

8.) People who live for “Likes” One of my best friends is “obsessed with LIKE’s guy”. The kid will seriously put up a status and get a boner every time he gets likes on his status. He tries so hard to make funny statuses or statuses people will like that it just annoys the fuck out of me. If you’re “tries to get likes guy” you can GTFO of here because no one likes you. Attention craving douche bags who have no social life are this person and it bothers me. I will purposley not like a status if I recognize I’m friends with a person like this. However, if you get a Retweet on a Twitter that’s such a Boss move. It’s tough to get a retweet on Twitter unless your Kim K or Miley, If I get a retweet that means someone is bold enough to retweet the crazy inappropriate shit I tweet about. Live for it.

9.) Baby Pictures- I recently had to delete a girl because she made a fucking Facebook account for her 3 month old baby boy. This is fucking ridiculous, thank God she didn’t post statuses under his account, but if I want to see pictures of him i’ll come over to your house with a case of Miller Lite’s and come check out his baby book, until that happens use your head. Tons of chicks are popping out babies and that’s great, but honestly unless i’m one of your best friends I don’t really want to see your babies poop diaper or him in the bath tub. Trust me when I have a kid i’ll love the shit out of him, but I won’t be posting pics of him on Facebook every day, damn kids whole life doesn’t need to be documented for the whole world to see. If someone takes a pic of that kid in a dress and puts it on Facebook he’ll never live that down.

10.) Facebook just copies other sites- Facebook is for the chickens. They steal shit from other social media sites all the time.

1.) The timeline (from Twitter) GTFO of here Facebook Twitter had that trending shit years ago.

2.) Facebook tried to be cool with “sharing” posts and link, nah piss off Zuckerberg i’ll Retweet it, much easier and it sounds cooler.

3.) Hashtags- Yes Facebook tried to steal the single most famous thing Twitter is know for…. Hashtags. Seriously eat my ass Zuckerberg, hashtagging on Facebook just sucks, even though I catch myself doing it. It’s pointless, no one searches hashtags on Facebook.

 

After further review, maybe I should’ve named this blog “Why I hate Zuckerberg and Facebook”

 

Damnit now i’m flustered and want to delete my Facebook account

 

Zuckerberg blows

 

K.A.S.H.

UWGB Confessions

Hey guys sorry for being away for so long.  I was busying bingeing on the entire second season of “House of Cards” over the weekend.  Long story short I should probably go to rehab for my Netflix addiction.  Right now I feel so shaddy as I am desperately trying to write this blog on a school computer in the Cofrin Library.   Now let’s get to some stuff that K.A.S.H and I have been talking about for sometime.

UWGB Confessions

Going on a couple of years, the University of Wisconsin Green-Bay Confessions page has been a big hit around campus.  Now its time for Swaggy C here to shed some light on a few confessions that either get me heated or make me question the amount of dumb asses there are.

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Man there are some horny women around this campus just looking to be pleased. To the girl that wrote this, what a powerful social media move.  As for who ever this Trever guy is, my advice to you is don’t give this girl the pleasure of you performing sexual favors. If a girl is asking that on confessions she is most likely paper bag material.  Unless that’s Trever’s thing, then hats off to him.

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What the Hell is a “struggle snuggle”? Seriously? Do you choke the girl while your snuggling? Or have you downed way to many cheese fries and miller lights, which makes you a fat as lard?  Which means she has to struggle to stay on the bed, since take up all of it.

Family zoned

You got family zoned?  My guess is you were probably drunk off your mind after bingeing on some sodas, as well as depressed as shit.

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The forsure sounds like a smokers comment.  I fricken love listening to pot heads talk, they come up with the craziest shit.   But if this were to really be true you would have a lot more men staring at asses.  Since there would be nothing to look at on top.

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This is probably a gamer comment, or some dumb gullible kid that takes notes on the first day of class.  First off the second “Anchor Man” movie was dumb as hell, and Ron Burgandy isn’t even real.  Secondly get a life then.

Also the people that like and comment on everything, are probably the same people that write all of them.

 

Swaggy C