This is Bobby Loves-Biscuits. I am a huge fan of this blog and I asked my fellow chinese eating buffet partner in crime “KASH” to let me write 1 time in his blog. For the few people that actually read this blog, I just moved to Brooklyn NY and I have received zero facebook hate since the end of football season so I decided to write this article. First off I am absolutely cooked right now and could have went home with some fatty that would have made a grilled cheese sandwich off my chest but I decided to do this instead.
Now my Facebook has been flooded the last 2 days about how the Packers signed the best thing since the wheel Jared Cook, and how Marshawn Lynch wanted to be traded to the Packers. So as a die hard Vikings fan let me give you a idea of how much Ted Thompson fucked up. Hopefully at the end of this article your green harded penis’s soften up.
Lets start in with the Sharon Rodgers draft. Great pick but who in Green Bay woke up that morning saying “well I hope we get that skank from California”… None. So when he dropped passed pick 15 everybody in Green Bay was cheering for Sharon… I know because I was at the bar the night after finding out what its like masturbating.
Lets fast forward to the year Teddy T could have made the biggest moves of all time. Trading for my childhood hero Randy Moss. The New England Patriots got Randy for a 4th round pick. A pick that the Packers easily could have given up. But my guess Teddy only offered a 5th but with how much the Raiders gave up for Moss they had to take highest bidder. Now lets be honest here. The 2007 draft was stacked VERY stacked. I actually watched the draft with one of my best friends in Seymour. But 4 rounds deep? Not a chance.
In the 4th round of the 2007 NFL draft Teddy drafted Allen “barbie doll” Barbre. And because Teddy is a fucking bozo in the 5th round guess where he went??? Wide Receiver named David fucking Clowney. Are you fucking kidding me? We all know what Randy did in with the Pats that year, and I am telling you now that same intensity and the fact that Brett Favre finally got his wish… Wow… No way the Giants beat the Packers in the NFC championship game and no AFC comes close to beating that Packers team. From a Vikings fan stand point Teddy refused to trade a 4th round pick for a super bowl ring. Yet I didnt mention the fact he drafted Justin Harrell and passed on a guy named Greg Olson. 2007 draft was a horrible one for Teddy but nobody says anything. Wait should I take that back? the only remaining member of the 2007 draft class for Green Bay is kicker Mason Crosby.
In 2008 Teddy stroke gold with the draft pick of Jordy Nelson. But later in the 2nd round he drafted Brian Brohm. You must have a lot of confidence in Sharon when you take a quarterback in the 2nd round. He however did hit Josh Sitton that draft. I would tell you which round but I am so fucking hammered right now and am currently staring at this girl from chili whose chest I would poop on.
In 2009 Teddy hit the jackpot with Clay Matthews. In which I dont know what is more shocking him falling that far or the fact that he hasn’t been suspended yet for steroid use. Teddy did draft TJ Lang that same draft only after drafting a fucking FULL BACK… Packers didnt even have a running back but draft a fullback Quinn Johnson out of LSU.
Now comes 2010 the year the Packers had a shot at Marshawn Lynch. The Packers had a chance to trade for Marshawn during the season but Teddy T didnt want to fork over what eventually be a 3rd round draft pick. Now GB won the super bowl lets fast forward to the following season when Marshawn was needed. The Pack went 15-1 but 0 running game. In the divisional round the Pack played IMO the only team that would have stopped them based on matchups and that was the Giants. The Giants were +9.5 but had the defensive pressure to hurt Rodgers and thats what happened. The Giants dared the Packers to run that game, and who was the leading rusher that game? Sharon with 66 yards rushing. Are you telling me that would have happened with Marshawn in the backfield?
So let me update for everbody. Teddy T chose David Clowney over Randy Moss and Alex Green over Marshawn Lynch in what should be 2 extra super bowl rings. I know some of you bozos are waiting for me to bring up Charles Woodson, but its not happening it was 1 signing and he won DPOY when Sharon punted the ball to the Cardinals in the playoffs. He was a great signing but that was it. Julius Peppers? He was good the first year and so/so the 2nd year but hes carrying 10 million a year under his belt. I do like the Jared Cook signing but what are you going to do with this draft with so many needs? Look back at all the drafts you have at best 2 maybe 3 guys remaining from the draft class and thats it.
Meanwhile as a Vikings fan we used free agency the way Teddy T should have. We signed mid level free agents who turned into huge signings for us. We didnt make the news when we signed Linval Joseph yet he proved to be the 2nd biggest part of our defense. Or Terrance Newman who recorded 3 picks at age 37 and beat out our 1st round draft pick. The point that Im getting to is that you need to use ALL**** sources to make your team better. Draft yes Free Agency yes (not teddy Ts style) trades yes (not Teddy Ts style) and waiver wire. Look at the Denver Broncos who just won the super bowl. They splashed in FA with the signings of Aqib Talib or Demarcus Ware or Emanuel Sanders or TJ Ward or the starting QB Peyton Manning. They also drafted well but you cant fully rely on that. The Packers got super lucky in 2010 because Sharon just flat out played amazing… no other way around it.
Mike McCarthy was right when the season ended. He hinted the Packers needed to be more active in FA but with Teddy T at the helm good luck. I will give Teddy T 2 more years in GB. When the Vikings do enough damage to the Packers and realize Sharon cant hold the team to himself anymore Teddy T will get pressured to make a move. But with what I shared in the history of Teddy T I doubt he caves. As long as Teddy stays GM for the Packers I will never be scared of them. Theyre are so many mid level FA that could help the Packers but Teddy T is to stupid to see it. Theyre 11 positions on offense and defense. And last I checked the Packers dont have 22 draft picks a year.
Now I know as a Vikings fan Ill get so much shit because you guys won more super bowls than us, but we didnt have the luxury of having 2 hall of fame QBs in what will be almost 3 decades. In the 70s Terry Bradshaw won 4 super bowls, in the 80s Joe Montana won 3 super bowls, in the 90s Troy Aikman won 3 super bowls. And since 2001 Tom Brady has won 4. Yet since 1992 the Packers have had a hall of fame QB with them but only won 2. The second Sharon goes down goes the Packers. Teddy T cant rely just on him but he has and to me he’s the only reason why he has a job.
Again Im so shitfaced during this writing I apologized for the missing words and sentence fragments, but I do hope you understand this.
Bobby Loves-Biscuits/ Turtle Kennedy.