Month: December 2015

Kobe Bryant Shit his pants and waddled up the court last night

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My God Kobe be older, you cant. 

Ever been to a 3rd grade basketball game where the kid stands in the corner and holds his crotch because he peed his whitey tighties, well an NBA player just did the equivalent of that last night. He 100% farted and it ended up being poop, only way to play it off is to puncture your butt cheeks and waddle up the court. Kobe has taken a turn for the worst, gray hair coming next, balls are gonna drop 3 inches, just rough sledding for the Black Mamba now.

P.S. The dude who tweeted at me saying it might be shinsplints can GTFO, NBA players don’t get shinsplints 207lb guys in their mid 20’s like myself do

KASH

Taking FIFA to a whole nother level

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So I’m not one to promote the use of drugs, but for fucks sake already its a plant that puts you in a magical state of mind so if you don’t like pot, get bent. That’s not the point of this blog though, but the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this was what an amazing idea i couldnt believe ive never seen this before…second the “grown up” part of thought man this kid must be a degenerate that has no job no degree and just smokes pot all day and plays fifa all day…third thought was man i wish i was this degenerate that didnt have to have a job or go to school…i know it may sound dumb because i am young but criipes i do wish i would have been more of a piece of shit when i had the chance…dont get me wrong i lived it up every chance i could but what i wouldnt give to not have to do a thing…hell may take my tired ass  part time job weekly paycheck and drop a quarter on lattes half on wisconsin lotto and keep the other quarter for some greasy Chinese buffet.

Catch you on the rebound!

Bullhorn

Father/Son Arrested For Stealing $41,000 Worth Of Chicken Wings Then Selling Them On The Street

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SYRACUSE, NY — Paul Rojek promised Onondaga County Judge Anthony Aloi in early September that he would not commit another crime for at least three years as a condition of his sentence for stealing thousands of dollars of food items from Dominick’s, the restaurant he worked at as a cook. But police say Rojek and his son were, at that point, seven months into the exact same type of scam at Rojek’s new restaurant, Twin Trees Too. Police said Monday that Rojek, 56, and son Joshua Rojek, 33, stole $41,000 worth of chicken wings from the restaurant and later sold them “on the street” and to other establishments over the course of nine months or so. Onondaga County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Jon Seeber said the United States Department of Agriculture was notified about at least one establishment that bought the stolen goods “due to the chicken being transported improperly.” However, a spokeswoman for the federal department said Tuesday it was unaware of the issue.

Well fuck ususally Randy and I go to a Brewers game when we want some father song bonding time. The idea has never entered my mind to go on a stealing and dealing spree with him- maybe wrangle up some cows from other farmers, get them butchered and reap the cash, maybe grow some pot in his barn and deal out of the barn, fuck I better stop with these genius ideas right now. Honestly though fast food and restaraunt joints would be the easiest to steal food and product from, the managers are usually slobs who don’t do shit or check on shit, the employees usually fuck off. Next time a rack of ribs or buns rolls into Texas Roadhouse just cart it out in the diesel truck and start sligning racking of ribs on the street honestly better than working a desk job. Dope man on the corner in Appleton would play. 

Think about it, chicken wings are only good if in a freezer, imagine how fucking gross and rotted these things got over a 7 month span, probably letting them out at room temperature all day, then cook and eat as many as you need to survive.

Chicken wings are the titties, but Bdubs are overpriced i’m going to say it, you’re paying for the experience, usually they give me wings the size of my pecker after a few minutes out in the freezing cold.

KASH

Layne Bryant #I’m NoAngel Commerical at the end of the Victorias Secret Fashion Show has me rattled

So here’s the deal, I have an issue with this commercial on a ton of levels. A bunch of girls just got done feeling shitty about themselves for watching a bunch of absolutley flawless and perfect girls walk down a runway for 2 hours while guys and boyfriends of theirs get googly-eyed over these girls and then look over there girl and all other girls as not so hot anymore. The fact of the matter is VS girls are 1 in a million, they are genetically fucking magnificent. This commercial is unnecessary as fuck. I as a guy am a slightly overweight chubby funny guy and you don’t see me with my Kenneth Cole boxer briefs in a commercial talking about my body, these girls in bra and pantie did nothing for me. Idk if it did it for you girls out there, totally pointless commercial in my opinion.

Sadly I probably #Would tackled down a couple of these porkers after a few miller lattes.

These girls def. have some yugs on them, so a little extra baby fat won’t scare a guy like me.

KASH

Selena Gomez is trying to make Biebs Jealous again,this time with Washington Capitals Tom Wilson

Page 6 – Does Selena Gomez have a crush on an NHL star? Justin Bieber’s ex has been having a flirtation, we’re told, with Washington Capitals right wing Tom Wilson, 21. We hear that after being introduced through Julianne Hough — who’s engaged to Caps center Brooks Laich — Gomez, 23, and Wilson have been circling each other via Instagram (in a millennial mating ritual of social media “likes” as complex as any Jane Austen text). “Date Selena she LOWKEY stalked you,” noted one poster on Wilson’s Instagram page, adding, “he’s actually cute so no wonder she stalked him.” But a source said Wilson’s quietly dating a fit, 22-year-old Canadian volleyball star, Taylor Pischke.

Typical Selena move, Biebs turns her down for the 46th time and he goes national by liking some stud Hockey player with better hair than Tim Riggins.

Biebs has had sex with well over 1,000 girls and that may sound proposterous but I truly believe that. 

Tom does have nice lettuce though.

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This may be the dude that breaks up Bieber and Selena forever though, i’d give my left nuts to have that lettuce my golly.

I got the hots for his ex girlfriend- start volleyball players Taylor Pischke, wholesome as fuck, will play bar volleyball with you and break some dudes nose with a spike. 100 #Would

 

MOMMMMMMY!

-kash

Girl is Scared for her life after getting a text from her delivery driver

Photo published for Driver saves shocked customer's number to FLIRT with her

Daily Mail– A woman who ordered a set of drawers online was left outraged when her delivery driver saved her mobile number and used it to ‘flirt’ with her. Alena Faulkner, 24, from Crawley, West Sussex, used the Yodel delivery service for a second time when she bought some storage units off eBay. The large order came over two days and was delivered by the same driver both times – who then saved her number into his phone in order to text her the following week. Alena, who was not happy with the unwarranted contact, said: ‘It’s not professional for Yodel drivers to use their service as a dating site. ‘It’s completely illegal and against the data protection act.’ Alena contacted Yodel on November 20 to make a complaint, and the company replied to say that they had deleted the number from his phone. But Alena is concerned that he was not disciplined more firmly and says she fears for her safety. She said: ‘Yodel agreed he was wrong and emailed me back to say that they’d spoken to the driver, took my number out of his phone and that the next time it will be a different delivery driver who comes to my place. ‘But the problem is they just took his phone and deleted the messages and put him on a different route. ‘He was trying to hit on me – otherwise he would never have messaged me a week later. ‘It’s really made me worry – that man knows where I live.’

Piss off girl, you should be flattered that someone thinks you’re hot. Seriously I’d be fucking flattered unless the chick was 250 with boobs on her back. IMO a very savage move by this guy to get the balls to shoot her a casual oh hey  noticed your number was saved in my phone, just wanted to let you know that. Seriously dude is keeping his pimp hand strong, he should’ve either did the following to test the waters, 1. Dick pick, 2. just send her a pic of some chipotle and ask her to hang out, 1 of the 2 if not both are slam dunks. Seriously though how much does it suck to be a fucking attractive girl, dudes always eyeing you the fuck up no matter where you go, creepy dudes grinding on you when you get a drink at the Stadium View, and not to mention the random fucks hitting you up on Facebook asking you to chill. 

Real story, I know a girl, literraly a 9.5/10 IMO, she had 153 friend requests pending from dudes in 3 months, attrocious. 

No thanks i’ll stick to the old hot chick on tinder who wants to get on a live video for 10 minutes for $10.99

KASH

MISS USA Olivia Culpo Breaks Up with Tim Tebow because he wouldn’t give her the D

NY Daily News – Tim Tebow, 28, is almost as famous for announcing his vow to wait for sex until marriage as he is his NFL career. And after just about two months, girlfriend Olivia Culpo, 23, reportedly decided that just wasn’t the lifestyle for her according to the Daily News! Olivia liked Tim, but reportedly told her friends that she needed to take a knee and get out of the relationship after experiencing his slow as molasses dating style. Of course, she knew going in to the relationship that she was getting attached to one of the most famous proponents of abstinence in the country, but she allegedly thought that it still might work! Two months later — not the case. “He was really into her,” a source told the Daily News, “He was sending her love letters and cute notes and professing his love for her. She had to break up with him because she just couldn’t handle it. He still hits her up, but she just can’t deal with the sex thing. He’s pretty adamant about it, I guess.”

A couple days late on this one but god this is absolutley heartbreaking. Former start quarterback, went to the University of Florida, has dated some smokes since college, every girl in college wanted to take his V-Card and it breaks my heart. This chick is a fucking smokestack, but wtf was she thinking she could get Tim Tebow to give up his Virignity to her, the lowly former Miss USA pagaent winner. Timmy is literally perfect, been under the spotlight from media for the least 10 years and hasn’t been caught with an ounce of liquor, drugs, a swear word or even finger banging a biddie. Tim this is 2015 bro, chicks are hornier than ever, you can only be Mr. Nice guy before, eventually they are going to want the 6 inch hearty italian inside them, he might have to go to christian mingle and hit it up. Holy fuck would I hit it from the back.

I still respect Tebow sticking to his gun’s on the virginity till marriage thing moreso than Russell Wilson refusing to bang Ciara, then having Ciara go and fuck the rapper Future.

 

BTW- Ciara back in the day in the video “RIDE” could gggeeettt it

 

KASH- bullhorn you’re up next brooooooooooooo