Welp boys and girls.. Diet starts Monday! Operation Hardbody for your boy KASh will be in full effect. No more pizzas, burgers, fries, Cool Ranch Doritos, Pepsi’s or Chinese Buffets. This is literally going to be hell on earth, my stomach is going to be crying for the first two weeks, just begging and churning for me to dump some salt and sugar down my gullet.
Here’s a few reasons why i’m giving up the savage, eat whatever the fuck I please life.
1.) Biddies- I’ve slowly seen the quality of biddie that I legit have a chance to date/slay/wife go down about 1/2-1 full point on a scale of 1-10 since I started packing on the blubber. “Slaying dragons” as Bobby Loves Biscuits my roomate says and my golly i’m ashamed of some of the biddies his dick as been in and around. Either way i’m 207lbs of ravashing good looks but too much fat to feel good about myself and once i get down to a lean 190 the biddies will be back on both arms thinking i’m Tim Tebow again.
2.) Snapchat- Just imagine, youre taking a nice little selfie for a girl (way the fuck out of my league) and you have to tilt your fucking heat up or take the picture at an obscure angel so you don’t look like a fucking turkey with a gobbling chin, bout that get that sucker right tight and the jawline on 100. May even snap a pic of the old 6 pack when they come back, such a toolbox move.
3.) The shower and mirror- Roll out of the rack, peel off the Kenneth Cole boxer briefs and look like your 3 months pregnant, the V that is near your lower waist is now all fat you hop in the shower and have to look down at your fat ass belly, just no way to live your life and soon it’ll be goooooone.
4.) Clothes- The other day i had to do fucking jumping jacks in order to get my Jeans on, 32 waist is a thing of the past, should be rocking the old 34’s, nah fuck that i’m going to get back in high school shape, squats at the gym and show everyone why I was voted cutest ass in my high school class.
5.) Fast food is an addiction and is getting old- Literraly my pallett cant tell a $1.39 mcdouble from a meal at nakashimas, it’s a problem and i’m done with it. I think i’ve eaten out 5x a week for the last 3 years straight and it’s gross, roll up to taco bell and order one of everything god it’s so gross. Plus i wanna be chef KASH and start cooking at home, just for when I find my next wifey.
Wish me luck, support me please, yell at me if you see me tempted to eat that garbage, also don’t let me do any pizza reviews via snap.
I’ll be looking sexy in about 3 months catch y’all later.