Month: October 2015

Car Salesman Makes the Most Incredible Commercial Doing the Whip and “Nae Nae”

Look used cars salesman already have a slimy and greasy schtick to them, but this guy is the opitamy of a used car salesman. Got the stunner shades on, fake tan on 100 and all the sudden my man busts out with just an electric rendition of the “nae nae”. I literally have watched this video 10x and can’t get over the art and craft he has in the dance which he totally remixes, looks nothing like the original dance. 

This dude is my fucking hero and I now want to be a used car salesman, dripping swag

BTW- hip pop and pose at 21 seconds is a panty dropper.

K.A.S.H.

“Flustered City : Degenerate Partner Projects”

First off I’d like to introduce myself. The name is Bullhorn i enjoy the typical bro things; to name a couple chugging miller lattes, talking sports with KASH, and chirping at biddies until I run out of breath. I am currently in college so i will be providing you with information on country music bangers, college biddies, shitty professors, the creepy kids that make wasting two hours of my life people watching, random food and alcohol reviews, and last but not least the topic today “Degenerate Partner Projects.”

In my business law class it is a wide variety of germs. There is the “mean girls group” of 4-5 girls fresh out of high school who think their shit don’t stink dressed in uggs yoga pants and double fisting mocha choca bullshits all morning, the one brain of a kid you spend class looking over his shoulder for his notes, the group of multi cultural students, the 50 year old, me, and last but not least the degenerate partner that i get stuck with for the project. I knew i was in the shitter from the start, at the time the project was assigned this chick had been to class two times out of six weeks of the semester, the day it was assigned i tried not to make eye contact with her but she gave me this sorrowful look to be her partner so of course i caved in. Don’t get me wrong im all about a chance of chumming it up with a biddie and she was a solid 6.8/10 but nothing you’d bring home to momma but i knew it was going to be hell. So the first week goes by and I finally hear from her about working on the project so we start texting and set up a time and place to meet. She starts with are you allergic to cats…Now as you can imagine im panicing thinking this chick has a room full of litter boxes and pictures of all her cats on the wall, so after i calm down i say no and agree to meet at her house. That night at 1 o clock i get a text from this chick saying im the love of her life, now im worried about this girls insanity, i mean i can be a lovable guy but pump the brakes falicia i just want to get this shit over with and GTFO. So meeting time arrives and i show up to her house palms clammy just flustered before i get to the door. I walk inside and im in the clear so far no cat pictures, and only one cat so i calm down and follow her into her computer room. As i walk in the door she kind of tries to hide a bud lite can and there was a really awkward silence until she finally says do you want a beer. So now im thinking hell this will be okay, so she grabs me a beer and we start talking about the project for a good 30 minutes or so, as i finish my first beer she grabs me another one and i then realize after her slurring of words that this bitch is three sheets to the wind. After we finished talking about the project she just starts opening up about life and the text message she sent about how sorry she was, so another 2 hours go by and this chick is just pie eyed and the whiskey hit me so i had to go. So after that debacle another two weeks goes by and our project has to be turned today the 26th of October and as of Sunday this bitch has none of her part of the project, so today comes and she calls me and says she has her part done, come to find out she did the wrong fucking part, she did the part i was suppose to to and had done, you talk about flustered city for bullhorn i was seeing red. As the day went on i got an email of the correct part she did and everything’s all good. So for future reference to anyone who’s in college  have your shit in check, forget what anyone says about being judgmental and judge the shit out of your classmates to lessen the chances of being stuck with a degenerate like i had the pleasure of.

Catch you on the rebound

Bullhorn

Is Order Breakfast To-Go in the Morning A Poor Person Move?

So this morning I rolled out of the rack with a fucking strongggg craving for some breakfast food, eggs, bacon, toast, sausage the whole gammit. Well obviously I live in a bachelor pad and we have nothing but some 2 weeks old loaves of bread that you’re playing russian roullette if their molded or not and eggs that have been in the fridge fr so  long the yolk has evaporated. So instead of going to the grocery store to buy supplies and make it myself, I googled “breakfast delivery places in Appleton,WI.” And up popped IHOP, IHOP and I have a decent releationship, average food, decent prices, let’s dance. So I call up and order and they say the order will be ready in 6 minutes, I quick throw on some undies and am naturally there 20 minutes after they say the food will be ready. I get there 7.1/10 girl is working #would for a Monday morning wrestilng session to get the week off to a good start, she hands me my food and the meal doesn’t come with Orange Juice, I bartered and holllered but they were trying to charge me $2 for an OJ the size of a childs sippy cup. Whatever, I left and went home, food looked presentable till I opened up the package and saw 3 strips of bacon 100% the microwavable kind all hard and clumped together, amost chipped a tooth and looked like Llloyd Christmas for the day it was so crunchy. Hash Browns burnt to fuck, sausages looked like a bulls cock, and the eggs were average. The Pacakes were bomb AF, thanks to the butter they make to put on those. Either way i feel Breakfast to go is a person person thing after today’s experience, go to a diner and get it fresh.

Flustered 4 hours later yikes

KASH

Eating Red Meat Causes Cancer! Well i”m screwed

Welp it’s been nice knowing you, if you google it a recent health study stated that if you eat too much red meat your odds of developing cancer go up a bunch. I grew up on a farm, my parents didn’t try to feed me vegatable and if they did I was feeding them to the dog. Meat and potatoes only ‘Ma. If this new study is true i’m probably going to croke in the next 5 years because I eat red meat 6 out of 7 days a day and I fucking love it. Go the grocery store i’m stacking tenderloins, steaks, ribs whatever the fuck it is. If i go to nakashimas you bet that ass i’m getting chicken and steak and a double order on special occassions. It’s to the point where nothing in this world is healthy anymore, were all going to get sick eventually, it’s life for god sakes there’s more pesticides sprayed on a fucking apple than anything, myaswell take a beer bong of pesticide liquid. I can recall the last vegetable i ate, it was a few pieces of brocolli that mistakingly got in my teriayki chicken at the Big Shanghai Buffett 2 weeks ago, they were drowing in soy sauce but it still counts. I ravaged 3 plates, unbuttoned my pants and asked for a wheel chair to be wheeled out to my car and 12 fortune cookies even though they taste like ass.

Bottom Line, 3 things I won’t give up no matter if I know the risks

Mountain Dew

Chinese Food

Miller Lattes

In any order

KASH

New Blogger for BottomsUpBros Alert

Hey guys KASH here, proud to announce i’ve singed a new blogger to the crew, his nickname is Bullhorn, not sure what he’ll go as on the site but he’s a young buck, southern drawl, loves crushing miller lattes and loves talking smut, sports, and everything in between just like myself.

Welcome him, give his material a shot and we’ll be pumping blogs more often!

KASH

Milwaukee Bucks John Henson Says He was Racially Profiled by Milwaukee Jewerly Store

Bucks' John Henson Says He Was Racially Profiled At Jewelry Shop

Milwaukee Bucks forward John Henson said he was racially profiled at a jewelry store in Whitefish Bay, Wis., today. Henson claimed the employees locked the doors when he arrived, and may have called the police on him.

Henson took a photo of the front of Schwanke-Kasten Jewelers on Instagram and added his account of the incident in the caption. He also said the police asked him where he got his car, which was from a sponsorship with a local dealership:

He posted on his Instagram about the situation:

The caption:

Went to @schwankekasten jewelry today in White-Fish Bay during regular business hours . They locked the door and told me to go away . After I rang the doorbell twice everyone went to the back. No answered the door or told me what was going on. This was followed by two police cars pulling up and parking across the street and watching me for 5 minutes ( I assumed they were called by the store ) . I was then approached by 2 officers and questioned about the dealer vehicle I was in which is apart of my endorsement deal with Kunes country Chevrolet and asked me what I wanted amongst other things that were just irrelevant to me being there just trying to shop at the store like a normal paying customer would do . I told them I was just trying to look at a watch. He then had to go in the back and tell them to come out it was safe but this is after they ran my plates and I overheard them talking about doing more of a background check on the car. The employees finally came out of the back and proceeded to conduct business like they previously were as we walked up . This was one of the the most degrading and racially prejudice things I’ve ever experienced in life and wouldn’t wish this on anyone . This store needs to be called out and that’s what I’m doing . You have no right to profile someone because of their race and nationality and this incident needs to be brought to light and I urge anyone who ever is thinking of shopping here reads this and doesn’t bring any business to this discriminatory place .

Damn this is 2015 and this is still happening. What a shitty feeling, the simple things we take for granted like going to drop some cash on a nice watch for yourself. Imagine heading into Dick’s Sporting Goods and they lock the doors and call the cops, like “bitch please i’m just trying to grab some Nike shorts and a dri-fit” or going to grab chinese food and the asian lady behind the country flips the “open” sign to “closed” and goes and grabs a frying pan. This is such a sad account and for it to happen in Milwaukee is kind of shocking to me to be honest. The owner of the jewelry deserve the negative publicity quite frankly and there is no place for that type of profiling in our civilization. I don’t take this as a Basketball player trying to gain attention and Instagram likes but a call for trying to change how our civilzation is, because you bet your ass is Nate Wolters was walking in that store they’d be giving him the best customer service ever. 

Random but something that came to mind: isn’t John Henson like the most unsuspecting black dude ever, he has a bay face, and almost zero tattoos, looks like a dude i’d chat up at Potawatomi Casino blackjack table and grab a drink with.

KASH

South Carolina Football Coach Makes Me Want To Run Through A Wall

South Carolina Legendary Head Coach Steve Spurrier retired mid-season last week and Shawn Elliot is the new Interim Coach, long story short, the dude is intense and makes me want to run through the wall on a Monday after drinking a cube of Miller Latte’s this weekend. Just take a look at some videos of him being a freak animal.

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The end of the video with the mosh dance, dude could prolly beat the shit out of about 3-4 of those football players at once, i’m all in on this guy give him the head ball coach job.

No way this guy is going to fire up his team like that

KASH

How Julian Edelman Made Me Feel Like A Pussy Last Night

Screen Shot 2015-10-18 at 10.17.50 PM

The picture above is a picture of Patriots Wide Receiver Julian Edelman’s broken finger from last nights game.

I was watching the Patriots vs. Colts game more than the Cubbies vs. Mets game last night and you could tell Edelman’s finger was jacked up after the play. Dude still played through the injury even though fingers are pretty important when catching the football. 2 1/2 weeks ago i went down for a ground ball in softball and came up with my index finger hanging to the right, I screamed and one of my buddies who’s an EMT popped it right back into socket after dislocating it. Ever since the injury my life can been a struggle..

I can’t play sports of any sort.

I can type with the finger

i can’t lift weights (not that i would anyways)

i can’t shuffle my poker chips

I can’t jerk off with my left

Well fuck if Edelman can nut up and go play nfl tackle football, i sure as fuck can play flag football on Thursday, go pound some dumbells at the gym, i’m back on it, if i redislocate it i’ll just go larry mccarren with it. fugg it.

KASH

Eddie Lacy Struggles Again- James Starks Should Be the Guy

Eddie Lacy: The Packers’ top running back touched the ball only six times. He had four carries for 3 yards and two catches for 17 yards. He said his sprained ankle is fine, and coach Mike McCarthy didn’t offer an explanation for why Lacy got so little work.

Game
ATT
YDS
AVG
TD
REC
10/18
vs
4
3
0.8
0
2
10/11
vs
13
27
2.1
0
1
10/4
@
18
90
5.0
0
1
9/28
vs
10
46
4.6
0
3
9/20
vs
3
9
3.0
0
9/13
@
Bears
19
85
4.5
1
2

Eddie Lacy with yet another disappointing game on Sunday vs. the Chargers. Dude only toted the rock 4 times for 3 yars. What happened to the steamroller Eddie Lacy who was trucking fools last year. First off I don’t think his sprained ankle is right, but frankly I don’t think he’s the style of Running Back that fits the Packers offensive system, he’s a patient back who is ok out of the backfield. James Starks fits perfectly what the packers want in a running back, great catching balls out the backfield and he hits the hole quickly and cuts at a fast rate. The pack won a super bowl under starks so i see his production going up as the year goes down, i’m not dumping on lacy he will still contribute and be better and we need him to make a super bowl run but the system doens’t fit and mccarthy realized that.

How about Rodgers sneakily cocky saying he wouldn’t mind chucking the pigskin around the yard 65 times, dude would pass for 500 yards a game in his sleep.

6-0 anyways go pack go

Former Badgers Running Back Commit Antonio WIlliams Sells HIs Soul & Signs With Ohio State

THE WILLIAMS FILE

  • CLASS: 2016
  • SIZE: 5-11/210
  • POS: RB
  • SCHOOL: North Stanly (New London, NC)
  • COMPOSITE RATING: * * * *
  • COMPOSITE RANK: 7 (RB)

The 5-foot-11, 210-pounder from New London, NC (North Stanly) committed to North Carolina nearly two years ago before deciding to open up his recruitment. He then pledged to Wisconsin last fall. Recently, Williams indicated that the Buckeyes had been in contact with him, and it didn’t take long for things to really pick up as he decommitted from Wisconsin last Wednesday. The four-star was in Columbus this weekend for the Penn State game. 

Williams has put together quite the offer sheet – including Alabama, Auburn, Notre Dame, Florida, and Georgia – but his recruitment has been mostly quiet since pledging to the Badgers in December of 2014. Tony Alford, who began recruiting Williams when he as an assistant coach at Notre Dame, has led the surge to add the North Carolina standout.

The Buckeyes extended an offer last November and were immediately included in his top six. After canceling an Auburn visit and opting for Madison instead, the commitment came shortly after the Badgers defeated Minnesota and secured their spot in the Big Ten Championship game; it would go public a few days later. Williams really garnered the affection of Badger fans when he unleashed this tweet shortly after the 59-0 dismantling in Indy.

The No. 19 commitment in the Buckeyes’ 2016 class, Williams is the second running back to join the fray. Fellow tailback Kareem Walker has been committed to Ohio State since January, though there certainly is some doubt surrounding his status

Ahhhhh welcome to the college football recruiting roller coaster and this time it gets the Wisconsin Badgers. First off, this kid like most 18 year olds is an attention whore, first North Carolina, then Wisconsin now the #1 team in the nation Ohio State. I have been thinking about the past few very good recruits (Running backs that have decommited and i have a theory to the whole thing.) First Joe Mixon to Oklahoma and now WIlliams. 

Here is why the Badgers are losing recruits and i’m kind of worried:

1.) Paul Chryst- I am not a fan of Paul Chryst, no passion or intensity, very conservative, very mediocre in my opinion. I would want to play for him either, he’s not going to get you fired up before a game, he’s going to lose recruits to big schools, college football coaches are like salesman if you don’t sell athletes and excite them when momma let’s you into their kitchen and cooks her best briscuit well fuck you’re going to get 3 star recruits and only farm boys to block for you.

2.) Ohio State and Urb and Harbaugh- Wisconsin is caught in a tornado and firestorm of Harbaugh and Michigan Fever and Urb Meyer just dominating the fuck out of everyone in the Big 10. Urb is 100% doing $100 handshakes with players, wisconsin is too high class for that but that won’t win you b10 championships. Michigan and Ohio State are passing us up as far as coach, excitability and playmakers and it makes me sick.

Ron Dayne needs to get some freakishly athletic woman pregant so he can run over bitches for tOSU and Michigan asap. Dude loves Hennessy.

Back on the blogging grind.