Month: October 2014

Groom Drops Bride

Ok i’ve watched this video a solid 10 times to analyze  how the fuck Pauly here fell while running with his lovely wife Becky. Dude just straight trips over his own fucking feet, and KASH is geeking out in laughter.

It’s only the most important day of your life, everyone watching you enter the wedding hall and you take a digger and break her clavicle, so unsmoothe but i love this fucker hustle running into the arena.

A couple things i’m thinking after watching this video:

1.) Zero percent chance this dude is getting wedding night sex.

2.) He almost has to be so tuned up (drunk) that this happened right?

3.) I bet this guys dance moves were electric the rest of the night

4.) His best man is truly a best man because he threw his beer to the side and gave that up like it was nothing.

5.) Camera lady coming in HOOTTTTTTTTT, for an action shot picture

6.) I’ve always had hot camera girls at all my brothers and friends wedding, also dropping flirtacious poses at that when theyre taking pics, dropping winks and hip thrusts like nobodys business.

7.) I remember i was 20 years old making out with one of the girls who served me food at the reception in the coat rack at my brothers wedding, Randy was not too proud of me. piss on it

8.) #would do the bride here in the video

KASH

Wisconsin Professor Cancels Class and Bro Swoops in on Ladies

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ok so a Wisconsin professor was a little too hungover and didn’t want to come to class, no sweat if I was a teacher i’d do the same thing at least once a week. No one in the class is going to compain unless some squid who takes notes on the first day of class needed to get their notetaking fix in for the day. 

Anways power fucking move by this guido named John in the class, perfect opportunity to strike while the iron is hot, maybe the ladies might be a little cold in their dorm room, might need a comfy little domain to chill in in order to get class credit. Either way such a diabolical genius movie that I can’t help but respect it. There have been times where i’d show up to class and there would be a note on the door and the teacher would have a fever, well thanks for the heads up tootz, made me want to shove the fever thermometer up her ass.

Pissed how the teacher ends up being a hard ass threatening to punish the kid who sent the email, also lost respect for the kid sending an immediate apology email. 

Chicks dig bad boys you gotta let that email sit and watch your inbox fill up full of messages from hotties looking for a  morning cuddle sesh.

Play on playa

KASH

Guy Wins on Price Is Right and Celebrates Like A Boss

This fine gentleman is just chirping it up with Drew Carey (who by the way I hate him being skinny, now he’s uglier and unfunny) about his wife and daughter and he spins the dollar on the wheel, and pandemonium breaks loose. Shows off some beer gut and decided to go down on the ground do some some sort of the worm and halfway missionary sex position. Sweet $1,000 thanks price is right for having your prize money being stuck in the 1990’s

2nd spin, dude just rips off another $1.00 spin and cashes in $25,000 and that’s when ladies vaginas start to wiggle, he rocks out some of the fiercest hip thrusts ever thrown in the history of man, seriously just pure sex in front of a bunch of 80 years old ladies watching on tv.

The Price is Right reminds me of when I would fake sick for school, by either putting my thermometer next to the lamp or dump my sisters makeup in the toilet to make it look like puke and watch price is right and recess all day.

Best price is right game is…………. Plinko

I miss Bob Barker so damn much

K.A.S.H.

My Halloween Costume

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Well scrap the 3 to 4 costume ideas I had to go as for Halloween, this may have to be my new costume. Toss on some shoulder pads, $3 ray rice jersey anywhere on the internet, a naked black barbie doll (if they make them) and handcuff that biddies leg to your arm and just drag her around all night. Guarantee the bro’s will high 5 ya, and some chicks dig the assholes and bad boys so you may score there. Pretty much a guarantee to get laid. 

Side note- may go to Madison for Halloween this year, scared for my health and safety, that and I may get very cold wearing my Calving Klein undies if this costume doesn’t pan out.

Best Halloween costumer I ever wore was a few years ago to the UW-Oskosh bars, Harry Dunn from Dumb and Dumber. EVERY single girl in the bar came up to take a pic with me and selfie, if snapchat was around back then i would’ve made snapchats best halloween mystory guaranteed.

K.A.S.H.

Please Welcome The Newest member of the UWGB Dance Team…

Well sign this chubby fuck up for the UWGB Dance team or cheerleading team, his dance moves and straight fire. 

Dude is just dripping sex and jiggling that blubber all over the joint. He’s the one reason why when you can choose to get back into shape or just let yourself go and become a lard ass, you choose the latter. I mean this dudes just flaunting that beer gut and throwing sexy time all over the ladies sorrounding him . just please watch both videos and appreciate the choreography Kevin puts into his dance routines, his facial reactions are funny as fuck and if I do say so myself his hip thrusting game is on point.

BTW- just made an Orv’s pizza, so thin and so damn average but I housed the whole pizza in probably 2 1/2 minutes, could eat 2 of them if someone double dared me.

K.A.S.H.

Neenah woman’s Bath & Body Works rant goes national

Ah the good old sit down in front of your computer and vent in front of your greasy web cam so you can get a million views and bath and body works will shower you in candles.

I just spent the last 11 minutes watching this video and found myself laughing at a few parts, watch the vid and you’ll see where i’m coming from on my takes from the video. 

1.) This chick looooooove her 2 scents of candles, I guess some girls are particular but this girls full time job is pretty much making sure she can get these 2 candles so she can take a buble batch and smell the peppermint candle blowing in the air. 

2.) This girl has to be 35 years old right? Her room looks like she’s a 16 year old.

3.) Love her swearing- I think it’s hot when girls swear in the first place, so damn sexy. This porker isn’t exactly sexy when she swears, but it’s funny as hell hearing her just go HAM on jen from Bath and Body Works, she has a THICKKKKKKKK Wiscansin accent too.

4.) 10:52 mark when she smells the Peach Pellini’s she’s straight intoxicated by the aroma and she may have had a little orgasm.

5.) The last minute of this video is pure fucking gold- “Jen your ass is going to get rheemed” just raunchy

6.) I’d bet every dollar bill in the safe in my room that “Jen from Bath in Body Works’ is banging hot, no way pork chop here would go through all this trouble if she wasn’t jealous of Jen’s looks. Jen if you need a sugar daddy holla at K.A.S.H.

Things I could make this same type of video about—

—- Chipotle when they make me wait for fresh chicken for my burrito

—– Burger King when they discontinued their tacos when I was in 5th grade

—– My Cell Phone Company when they say I used 18 GB of data a month and try bending me over on my bill

—– The Bull when they run out of whiskey for W-Cokes because they can’t keep up with me and my squad’s pace of dumping them down our throats.

P.S. This lady can piss off because now she’s going to become a millionaire making stupid ass videos like this.

One final thought: It’s greasy but the thought of “how much money would it take for me to wrestle naked with this hog on my workbench” Answer $10,000

K.A.S.H.

Guy Eats Ice After Deciding to Skate Around While Signing “O Canada”

Well look at this hardo, guy is trying to be a star by taking the canadian national anthem to a whole another level here by singing and skating. Nobody likes a hero bro, stand that ass on the ice in some tennis shoes, belt out the song, get your ovation and GTFO. 

1.) Dude is overweight, wearing a greasy cheap tux

2.) Bro might want to look out for the red carpet in the middle of the hockey rink, just eats shit and tries to playboy it by being a champ and continuing to sing. 

3.) This is such a tragedy to watch

4.) 95% sure he does anal

So pumped for hockey season, i’m going to go to my first NHL games of my life this year, Minnesota Wild and Chicago Blackhawks. 

Go San Jose Sharks by the way, no more choking it up in the playoffs.

K.A.S.H.

Cocky Golfer drives golf ball 331 yards from knees

Piss off bro! Go play in traffic and please never come back again. This fucker is soooo cocky that is flusters the living shit outta me goes down on his knees and drives it 331 yards. Guarantee this dude spends a ton of time on his knees with dudes splashing him in the face with fettucini alfredo. 

The main reason why i’m so pissed off/jealous of this guy is if it hit one 225 yards right down the tits (which happens once a summer) I get all pumped up and shotgun a beer out of celebration and here this hardo is in blojob stance with no legs popping it 331 yards. Makes me thinks about taking every golf club I own and snap them in half and just retiring. Fuck him

By the way, golf outing Friday morning 9am right after the Packer game, my liver is gonna be shot, i’ll be hungover as balls and you bet your ass i’m getting right back on the horse, miller lattes for breakfast no doubt.

K.A.S.H.