Month: July 2014

Drunk Girl On A Train Crushes Handful of Chips Off The Floor Like A Boss

I’ve been on many drunken eating sprees in my life after having too much booze dumped in my mouth, but I don’t think i’ve ever gone as far as this chick. She literally drops her bag of Lays chips on a greasy ass train floor and proceed to scrape them together and dip them into the floor like she’s trying to drench the chips in some queso or salsa. 

But honestly i’ve dropped a slice of Polito’s pizza on the cement brushed it off an ate it when i’m hammered, granted it was on the floor for like 2 seconds. Any girl readers of this blog can’t knock this girl or say it’s gross, you’ve been there before girlfriend. Honestly just pure exstacy at that point. The way she leans her head back and just shoves her fistfull of chips in her mouth actually shows a lot of heart, determination and character.

#Would put a ring on her finger, such tenacity.

K.A.S.H.

Lingerie Football League Player Scores Touchdown Then Drinks A Beer

Stumbled upon this gem of a video today and kind of got a weird tingling sensation in my pants after watching it. A girl in the Lingerie Football League scored a touchdown then proceeded to drink beer as a touchdown celebration.

 

First off, do the Green Bay Chill still exist? If so i’d like to invite any of my blog readers to attend a game with me and dump about 7 24oz Miller Latte’s down the old garbage disposal aka throat.

Second off i’m how the fuck do these chicks not get hardcore rug burn from the turf, when their out there hitting biddies in their bra and undies?

Thirdly, This chick can play on K.A.S.H.’s backyard football or flag football teams any goddamn day of the week, huge set of yugs on her, and she says fuck it and crushes a tall boy after scoring a tuddy. Disappointed she didn’t slam the whole beer but sexy nonetheless. 

Fourthy, Are these chicks hot, like seriously they all have bangin’ bodies but the faces can be skeptical, not to mention if you’re not performing well in the bedroom she’ll probably beat you up for it.

Here’s a couple of smokes from the LFL

Mickayla WIngle #would do naughty things to her

Balls on a goose is she smoking- Funbags are legit, and that Garter on her left thigh is a gamechanger.

Daughter of former Washington Redskins Quarterback Mark Rypien.

Cute Smile, not too manly and a breathtaking hiney.

 

K.A.S.H.

Best Hair Game/ Lettuce In The World?

Screen Shot 2014-07-29 at 9.34.54 AM

I want you to look me square in the eye and tell me this isn’t the best head of hair on planet earth. Seriously move the fuck over Bieber, there’s a new sheriff in town. His name, Nick Rose the Kicker for Texas University. 

How big of a playboy is this cat, crooked little smirky smile, basically 2 heads of hair on him, one is a california surfer boy look, the other a Justin Bieber swoosh combover. 

I guarantee this guy will bang every girl on the Texas Campus this season even if he misses every kick he attempts.

May make it a life goal to grow my hair out like this kid.

 

K.A.S.H.

if I Could Choose One College Football Coach To Be In Life It Would Be… Kliff Kingsbury

So if you don’t follow college football closely the head football coach of Texas Tech University may not sound appealing to you, but after seeing his antics and swag over the last year I have to introduce you to the biggest boss of a head college football coach in the world… Kliff Kingsbury.

kliff

Fist off, could this guy run any better in life??? Just at a pool party with 2 smokeshow Dallas Maverick Cheerleaders, fuck the best I ever did was 2 Fox Valley Lutheran Cheerleaders around me after our Varsity team got worked in footbal.

Dude has a legit 12 pack, chisled abs, and some sex handles on the lower abdomen, not to mention his Ryan Gosling perfectly sculpted lettuce, well groomed 5’oclock shadow and his southern smile.

Need a pair of these Ray Bans STAT!

Could he look any cooler on the sidelines?

Kliff-Kingsbury

Here are a few things he’s done in the last year that you have to respect:

1.) He’s rumored to have banged his recruits mom- 34 years old banging 44 year old mommys, sure why not. When Jarius goes to get some milk and cookies and comes back into the kitchen Kliff has his mom bent over on the living room couch.

2.) He brought an ice cream truck full of hot girls to practice- 2 of the better things in life Ice Cream. and Hot Girls. all because Kliff thought his players who were busting ass at practice deserved some love. Side Note— I bet Kliff ate some ice cream and girls.

3.) The Dougie- 

2:00 Minute Mark is where the goodies happens ladies.

 

 

paste this title into YouTube.com because it won’t paste here.it’s worth the view

Texas Tech Football Dance Off 4.10.14

 

Going to bring a picture of his haircut into the Barbershop and see what my stylist can do, probably going to end up wearing a hat for 2 weeks till it grows back.

 

Back on that blogging grind.

K.A.S.H.-

 

5 New Country Music Bangers

It’s summer and country music is perfect for summertime. Literally all I listen to all the time in my car, windows down, shades on the head and crank it and sing it at the top of your lungs. Even people who hate country pretend to like it when they’re drinking Latte’s and Silver Bullets are cookouts. BTW fellas, chicks love country get on it. Here are some bangers

1.) Sam Hunt- Leave the Night On

Banger of a song, different style of country but awesome song about a guy and girls fling

2.) Chris Lane- Broken Windshield View

A truck bed’s got a half roll of barbed wire / A bale of hay and a patched up spare tire / Cross on a chain hangin’ from a rear view / Fifth in a brown paper sack packin’ 80-proof.

Reminds me of just country living.

3.) Florida Georiga Line- Dirt

Song is catchy as hell, reminds you of where you came from and the simple and good things in life. Not just about dirt.

4.) Brothers Osborne- Rum

This song ravages if you’re out on the water and sucking suds with friends, get the whole crew to sing it. #Banger

5.) Eric Church- Cold One

Eric Church is the fuggin man. He’ll always be my favorite country singer, his music is real and every song is tight. * trying to figure out what the song exactly is about*

Make a mixtape of those 5 songs for anyone and they’ll love you. You’re welcome.

 

K.A.S.H.

 

My Least Favorite Stores To Shop At In The Fox River Mall

I’m on a blogging rampage here tonight, by the way i’ve been in the gym and Im gonna be yolked at fuck in a month or two so ladies just wait for a little 6 pack eye candy in the future. Anyways I went to the mall today and realized there are a few places i’ll never step foot in and there are legit reasons why. So let’s shoot.

1.) The Buckle- I have a confession to make… I did shop here when I was a senior in high school and 1st year of college because I thought it was the cool thing to do. I mean $100 pairs of jeans, $45 affilction and cross and sword tees, sick seashell necklaces, and a swirly,sparky horeshoe designs on your jeans. No. Fucking. Thank. You.

This isn’t even mentioning the second you walk in the store you get flocked on by a salesperson who wants to point you to a bunch of shitty clothing that isn’t your style, no bro I don’t want to wear a bright orange shirt with some ass tight skinny jeans. Also another pro tip from me: Never ever try on clothing in the dressing room because your boy Jared will throw 10 pairs of jeans and 13 tee shirts over the changing room door and swear you how you fit. Which I just say I tried them on and they didn’t fit. Fuck the Buckle

2.) Express- If I need a nice dress shirt I may go here, but every since I tried on a pair of jeans 3 years ago and the guy said I had a “cute butt” i’ve had to pass on ever stepping foot in the place.

3.)  Hollister/Abercrombie/Aeropostale

Hollister wants to be have a beach vibe in California, well guess what your fucking swan on your shirts and stinky ass cologne will not play for K.A.S.H. ever. Did rock it in high school though.

hollister-jackets-for-boys

Abercrombie- Overpriced, jeans are ripped to shit, if i want to buy a pair of ripped ass jeans I’ll go down to the my barn jeans I wore on the farm my whole life, I will say they do have some good smelling cologne at times which i’ll order online so I don’t take the risk of being spotted shopping there. By the way Crombie offered me a modeling gig back in high school and I just laughed and shredded the letter.

abercrombie-and-fitch-590x4181

Is that Swaggy C????

Mix in an ab workout bro

Aeorpostale- The store is for peasants, cheap ass clothing, such a knockoff brand of Abercrombie and Hollister it makes me sick. Aero on the front of the chest is just dumb as fuck, sounds like a fucking astronaut brand. Prediction: Aeropostale will be out of business in under 5 years.

4.) Victoria’s Secret- Unless i’m buying something with my girlfriend who is physically with me and holding my hand like i’m her 5 year old child i’m not stepping foot in the joint. Fucking smokes working there asking you why you’re in the store, what kind of panties your girlfriend wears is just unsettling to me, I did hear they have some dope ass Packer and Badger hoodies. 20140707-sport-sub-pants

Would however buy about 8 pairs of yoga pants for my girl, holy fuck. Booty be popppppppin

5.) Kiosks-

Seriously I will never buy anything from the piece of shit kiosks in the middle of the mall. Hell I can’t even make eye contact with someone because they’ll ask me if they can have a few minutes of time to massage my hamstrings, get my cell phone information or have me try on some instant tanning lotion that smells like butter. Everything is cheap, flashy and just flat our busted as fuck.

The one place K.A.S.H. will not eat at the Fox River Mall is…………….

mcdougles

Mcdougles

Place is greasy, meat is made of leftover cow particles, but their fries are money and their $1 powerades are the steal of the century. It’s not that I hate McDonalds because I probably eat it once a month, but odds are my ass is going to dive into some Sarku Japan (Double Meat) or some Rocky Roccoco’s. Super Slices will play.

K.A.S.H.

 

I WILL Be Sending A Random 6 Year Old Boy A Birthday Card

Little Disclaimer here, it’s getting fucking dusty up in here in the K.A.S.H. residence. Sitting here after cooking Teriyaki Chicken Kabobs and watching the Brewers and I stumble on something that made me cry a bit. 

http://www.wcvb.com/news/local-boy-fighting-cancer-asks-for-birthday-cards/27041888#!bjuIhN

Gimmie a fucking box of Kleenex, seriously this little guy is going through inoperable brain cancer and probably doesn’t have a long time to live and all he wants are some strangers to fill up his mailbox full of Happy Birthday cards Well i’ll tell ya what Danny Nickerson, you will have a Bday card from K.A.S.H. along with a little gift from myself to make your birthday a little bit better. Makes me sick when I was 6 years old all I gave a fuck about was what video game i’d be getting for my birthday or if someone would give me money in my card or just sign it and get me all depressed. Either way me taking 2 minutes out of my time to send this little guy a card may  be the most useful 2 minutes I do this entire year. 

If you guys have the time, send the kid a birthday gift, life is a special thing and some people are dealt shitty hands and make the best of it like Danny.

Here’s his address:

Danny Nickerson, P.O. Box 212, Foxborough, MA, 02035

 

K.A.S.H.

Charles Barkley’s Golf Swing May Be The Ugliest Thing Known To Man

I love golf, I’m not very good at golf, i’m good at drinking beer on the golf course and wrecking golf carts with my not give a fuck attitude while driving them. But I’m here to show you the worst golf swing you’ll ever see in your life. I present to you… Charles Barkley!

Jesus Christ Charles that was a fucking gorgeous golf stroke my friend! The old grip the golf club the wrong way, hunch over more than the Hunchback of Notre Dame and just let one rip right down the middle about 15 yards. Just a luscious swing baby!

At least I take my driver, rip it back as far as possible and slice it 200 yards but about 100 yards to the right. Keep pimping Chuck.

K.A.S.H.

AJ Hawk Tackles Bro Fan At Golf Tournament

http://www.cbssports.com/golf/eye-on-golf/24626210/aj-hawk-tackles-fan-at-pro-am-golf-tournament

Love this move by Aj and the fan, takes some serious balls to ask to get tackled by a meathead NFL linebacker with no pads on, it also takes some for AJ to say “fuck it i’m going to pummle this bro into the golf turf and throw a little smack talk in on the ground.” 

No more asking players kindly for autographs and pictures, I’m thinking having Yovanni Gallardo throwing me a fastball, Jabari Parker dunking on me, or any athlete just slamming a beer with me. 

Aj could join a frat easily, backwards hat on the golf course is such a savage move, I think i’m a hardo if I wear a cutoff at the course, no care for what the golf shop manager may say to him.

This tackle by Aj is just a truckstick and I love it, gets me all pumped for football season. Matthews,Hawk, Peppers are going to make quarterbacks lives a living hell this season.

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AJ Hawks wife right here… WOULD

 

K.A.S.H.

Puppy Golden Retriever Comforts Older Dog During Nightmare

 

Let me just start off by saying.. I. Cant. Even.

This video is so fucking precious, It’s getting dusty up in here and the water works are flowing like crazy. This is just another reason why Dogs are 1Million times better than cats. A cat probably would’ve just sat there on top of the couch and stared with their glass eyes, or went and hid under the bed, such fucking heartless creatures. No not dogs though they are literally man’s best friend. Ever have a shitty day and come home to your Gold Retriever who is smiling and cuddling up with you, to make you forget about all the worries in the world. Dogs are so fucking cool, never sad unless your sad, always happy as fuck and I respect them so much for that.

Back to the video: You can tell moms is getting older and the nightmares and trouble functioning happens for dogs, this little pup just saved moms from a nasty dream not to mention it’s cute as fuck when she just nestles up in her neck.

Currently wiping away tears of joy.

Sad but shows how much Dogs care for their owners.

Dogs> Cats

P.S.- K.A.S.H. will be adopting a gold retriever puppy within the next 3 months, need it, want it, gotta have it.

 

K.A.S.H.