Hey guys, K.A.S.H. here, i’m about to go hit 9 with a few buddies today in a few hours, so I thought i’d share what I love and hate about the experience of golfing. I’ve been out golfing 3 times this summer and have mixed feelings on it. So here’s what I hate and love about the game of golf.
What I LOVE about golf
1.) Drinking Beer/Smoking Cigars- I’m going to come clean on this one, I’m the guy who stuffs a 6-pack in his golf back before he goes out golfing. Hit a shitty drive on the first tee, crack open a Miller Latte and pray the sweet liquid nectar does the trick. Of course by hole 4 all the beers are piss warm, but you just nut up and drink it like a champ. Cigars I only bust out on bachelor parties, just feel like such a bauce (boss).
2.) Good Time to Hang & Drink With Friends- Nothing like a little heart-to-heart with your best friend while waiting to tee off and your both in the golf cart with beer in hand. Also a good time to joke around and have fun with everyone. Probably top 5 places to just hang out and shoot the shit with everyone.
3.) Driving the Golf Cart- I know i’m not the only one who thinks he’s fucking Dale Earnhardt Jr. out there on the course driving that golf cart at 10MPH. Couple of vereran tips i’ll give for golf cart driving moves.
– when the course is a little wet, drive full speed and slam on the breaks, you will whip around in a cirlce, such a sick move.
– Racing the other people in your group to the next hole, bumping, ramming using your foot thinking it will speed up your golf cart speed all are acceptable in order to win this race.
– Word from the wise, don’t try driving the golf cart through the sand trap
4.) Golf Cart Girl- Nothing better than seeing Golf Cart Girl in the distance when you need a beer, it’s like an angel sent form God. She rolls up looking all cute and stuff, and you’re obligated to buy something in my opinion. I don’t care if I have 2 Miller Lattes cracked open already, you bet your ass i’m buying a drink from Golf Cart Girl. Always tip your golf cart girls well fellas. I haven’t been getting ID’d by golf cart girl since 17 years old.
5.) Hitting that one good shot- You line up a ball on the tee box perfectly with your TaylorMade Burner Driver and smoke it 250ft right down the middle and you get a boner. Everyone is telling you how great a shot it was and just giving you a BJ. You chip one in from 50 feet away and do a swan dive into the lake, hitting a shot like this will make you come back from another round no matter how shitty you were shooting before that point. I’d almost make a case to say hitting a shot like this is almost equal to set.
6.) Catching Rays- Bro Tanks are the only play on the golf course, unless you’re with your father-in-law or business clients.
What I hate about Golf—
1.) Losing/Buying Golf Balls- My drive shanks to the right every fucking time, doesn’t matter how I line up. I expect to lose a ball for every hole I golf, just standard procedure. Nothing worse than going golfing spur of the moment to realize you have 3 balls in your bag and you don’t want to buy any from the clubhouse because they bend you over for a 6 pack of balls. Many times have I had to go back to the Clubhouse because I ran out of golf balls midway through the round. Just makes you look like a peasant roling up on hole 4 buying more range balls to hit around into the weeds.
2.) Slow Golfers in front of you/ The group who’s on your ass- I’m by no means a fast golfer or someone who rushes while golfing but is there anything worse than Grandpa Jerry and Grandma Phyllis just hacking up there hitting the ball 30 feet while walking the whole round of golf. Not to mention giving each other a smooch in between holes, just chaps my ass. Myswell take a fuggin nap while you’re waiting for them to finish that par 5.
Golfers on your ass- These guido’s played in high school and are hitting every ball perfectly, and to your luck they are playing behind you. You hit your drive and are about to hit your 2nd shot, and they are already teeing off hitting their ball further than yours. I’ve almost legit almost gotten smoked in the head from one of these assholes who tee’d off on our hold. Just leave behind a Miller Latte can and a note telling them to fucking LAX! (Relax)
3.) It’s Frustrating- For the average round of golf I play I’d say I drop a good 100+ F-Bombs. Hit the clump of dirt farther than the ball, Seriously want to walk off the course halfway through a round everytime I golf, that or throw my 7iron in the pond.
4.) Teeing off in front of people/guy who gives you tips- Nothing worse than a group of pro golfers rolling up behind you to add some pressure when you’re about to tee off. Hit a shitty drive, make a joke about how bad you are at golf and hope to God they don’t judge you. Also hate the bro who rolls up after seeing me shoot, giving me golf tips and trying to perfect my swing.
There is plenty more stuff I hate, i’ll tweet it out on the course today. Gotta run
I will be watching Happy GIlmore in the near future
Also taking snapchats of people while people are hitting and seeing them swear like a sailor when they biff a shot is priceless, MyStory’s for daayyysss
Also i’m starting my own business in the next few months, Going to be on a fucking yacht
Country Song Banger of the week- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejgMcq__Yhk