Month: May 2014

Random Pictures From My IPhone

Hey guys sorry i’ve been away from the Blog Life recently, just enjoying summer (basically golfing everyday and playing softball and tennis every night) and looking for a full time men’s sports and entertainment blog to work for.

Just looked through my phone and saw some pretty funny/interesting pics so here they are…) Vikings Quarterback ClusterfuckImage


This is just a laundry list of Starting Minnesota Vikings quarterbacks in the past 10 years. I live for this poor sap, all depressed hunched over in that shitpen they call the Metrodome, living in despair because of all the shitty quarterbacks they’ve had. Meanwhile, the last time my squad the Packers had a non top 5 quarterback was when Don Majkowski was starting and I was in my Huggies.







Let me start out by saying, this is a good way to have me delete you off SnapChat. Kid just crushed 2lbs of Chinese food at the mall while delivering UPS packages and now looks like he’s going to shit his brains out in the driver seat. This picture makes my head hurt looking at the anguish in his face. The reason why i’ll delete you off SnapChat if I receive these type of snaps…..

Scenario (I’m cuddled up on the couch watching The Notebook next to a pretty girl and she peaks over to see the snapchat i’m opening, she’s prolly going to have serious questions about who I hang out around. 

3.) Biddies losing weight for Summer



First off. You GO Girlfriend. K.A.S.H. is trying himself to drop 10 lbs for the Summer, but yet I find myself relapsing into Johnsonville Brats, Cheese Curds and Chipotle every week. So here’s my take on this whole Instagramming a pic of yourself before and after your weight loss. Definite cry for attention just posting a pic of you in your bra and panties in the mirror, but at the same time kind of a genius move. This girl has to be single as fuck, because if my girlfriend put this shit on Instagram, i’d have that shit deleted in about 2 minutes. So is the pic on the left what she was before and the right, how she is after the weight loss, because not to be a dick I don’t even notice a difference. Regardless, solid boob shot and washboard abs in the pics, so i’m a happy camper.

Classic example of a weight loss pic—- CC Sabathia (Former Milwaukee Brewers and now NY Yankees pitcher)


Look at that piss tank on CC, gotta love the fat pitcher who absolutley makes hitters drop to their knees at the plate.



And now he’s skinny as fuck and he sucks at Pitching. Keep that fat on pitchers, it’s good for ya.

4.) Chugging Milk



Kid’s going to hate me for this pic, obvi I screenshotted this pic of him just going to town on this Milk Jug. Chocolate Milk is always the play you guys, this coming from someone who grew up on a farm. I’m willing to give anyone who can drink a whole gallon of milk in less than 1 hour $50 cash. I will enjoy watching you puke, because it’s physically impossible. Well besides this dude in the video…

What a fucking freakshow, his stomach has no feeling guaranteed.

5.) K.A.S.H. Snapping a Selfie of himself caught in action





This is quite possibly the greatest snapchat of all time. Catching my ass in the backseat of a mini-van just crushing a selfie. Just clear as day what kind of move i’m going for in this SnapChat. Just keeping that lettuce tight as it gets, and pampering it. Greatest snapchat i’ve seen to date. 

6.) Guy doing a girl selfie on the beach



Got this pic from a buddy of mine for GB, this pic made me geek out the first 10 times I saw it and still does. Lets crossed while laying face down on a towel on the beach A+ posture. Surprised look on face with the tongue sticking out, Style A+…. Stunna shades on the beach, Fashion A+…. Good work kid

7.) Image

I’ve got a soft spot in my hear for Tinder. Such a great time killer and a chance to check out the local hotties in the area. This kid plays baseball for the University of Illinois and let me tell ya dude is killing it. He told me he had 20 matches in a half hour on the road in Nebraska, Rico Fucking Suave. I’ve had some unique experiences on Tinder and some creepy in my day, buy me a Millter Latte at the local watering hole and K.A.S.H. will tell all. P.S.- If I was a college baseball player on Tinder I would rake in chicks, just post a pic of you in your uniform or anything related to being a baseball player and chicks go nuts. #TooEasy

8.) Moooooooon



This is a picture of me after a long night of drinking, just getting HAM put in my face. I guarantee I crushed a good 18 Miller Latte Silo’s and some Toppers Sticks because you could hit me over the face with a shovel and I aint’ waking up. Straight Drunk Coma mode. Look at me showing off a little belly for the fans though. Pretty flustered to wake up and look at this picture in your camera on your IPhone though. Slightly concerned at how far dudes sweatpants are down though, very suspicious.


Time to get play tennis and go Federer on some fools.

Andi from the Bachellorette can carry K.A.S.H.’s baby any day

Anybody interested in going down for the Brewers vs. Cubs game @Miller Park on Saturday hit me up






K.A.S.H.’S Vocabulary Revealed

Hey guys someone who reads the blog came up to me and asked that I do a blog on what all my words mean in my vocabulary since i’m always busting out new words, well here it goes in the context of a sentence or defintion

Withered- “I am sooooo withered this morning” “This class is so withered” (Definition: Beat, Tired, Boring, Shitty)

“Will Play”- “W-Cokes and Miller Latte’s will play tonight” (Definition: basically just means it will work, or it’s good enough for me)

Basically means “can play on my team anyday”

Greasy- “That dude over there is greeeeeasssy”  (Definition: To be unattractive, sketchy, comes off as or makes you feel slimy or grungy

Dolt- I got this when I used to play poker it basically means “Moron”. Example— That old dolt over there sucks at poker

POG- Piece of Garbage

Flustered- “Now i’m all flustered because she called me out in class”. (Definition— To be shooken up or bothered by something

Smoke- otherwise known as “SmokeShow” just another name for a gorgeous girl. “That girl is a fucking smoke bro”

Miller Latte’s- Miller LIte’s (The World’s Finest Pilsner)

Worked- To be exhausted and beat. “The Brewers got worked by the Cardinals last night.” “I can’t go out tonight i’m worked from softball today”

Ravage- Kicks ass, sweet, dominated-  “The show Breaking Bad ravages.” “He ravaged that dude in that fight last night”

Mommmmmmmy- Something you say to your boys when you see a hot girl walking in public.

Rake-  To hit the fuck out of a baseball

Beligerant- wrecked, out of hand… “I was belligerant as hell at the cock n bull last night”

Biddie- Honestly unsure what this word really means, I use it just to describe any girl or group of girls. Although I feel like girls think your calling them a bitch when you say it

Cocktease- A girl who flirts with you and has no intentions of doing anything romantically or sexually. “That girl is a straight cocktease man, she won’t even make out”

Yugs- Another word for the nickname of women’s breasts Jugs. “That girl has some nice yugs on her”

Biscuits- Another name for Cigarettes

Lard ass- Fat ass. “I feel like such a lardass because i’m going to Chipotle for the 3rd time this week.

Money- Sick, tight, dope, perfect.. “That shirt is money” “That food we at was money”

Fuggin- non swear word for the word “Fucking”

Hardo- hard-ass… someone who does or wears ridiculous things to act cool or tough.

Tradg- Tragedy- “That dude over there’s life is such a tradg”

Gooooooood- Just say it after someone does something you like or you say it to fluster them… “Hey bro i’ll see you tonight… GOOOOOOOOOD”       “Hey dude Brittany just texted me” GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

arrrrssssss- Ass…. “I’ll prolly just stay home and watching Netflix on my fat arrrrsssssss

FFFFAAAATTTT- “Going to crush this chinese food and get FFFFAAATTTT

Dabble- Something I say when i’m going to binge on something or overdose on something… “I’ll dabble on some W-Cokes at the bar tonight”

You Won’t, You Won’t- YOu say this this you want to peer pressure someone into doing something they normally wouldn’t do. “Hey Fisch, you won’t chug that beer, you won’t.    Then he proceeds to chug it

Silo- 16 oz can of Miller Lite

Brode0— a party with a lot of bro’s and no girls. “It’s a real brodeo in here, where are all the girls at?”

Lipsnack– A pouch or pinch of tobacco. “Hey bro you have a lipsnack in your mouth right now?”

Peasant- Someone who is just weak or lower than you. “That kid is such a peasant”


Hope you guys enjoyed this, giving you my little book of treasured words here. Use them when the time is appropriate.


Sweet Dreams





The Girl K.A.S.H. Fell In Love With Tonight.. Mallory Edens

Holy fuck you guys I fell in love at 7:04 pm via a television screen on ESPN watching the NBA draft lottery. The newest internet sensation is now my dream girl. She’s a smoke (smoking hot) and she’ll be on K.A.S.H.’s arm in a short period of time. Here she is…



Daughter of new Milwaukee Bucks owner. her name is Mallory Edens

How about we just take her with the 2nd overall pick in the draft and suit her sweet ass up night in and night out, my god I’m unsure what it is about her but she’s got IT. Guarantee she’s a demon in the sheets.

That smile those eyes, prolly going to write a country song about her

The fact that she’s allegedly only 18 years old is fucking absurd, I would put good money saying she was closer to 30 years old then 20. 


I think the Bucks are useless and will never be good again, but she turned me into a Bucks fan.


Don’t look forward to graduating from college y’all it’s overrated, CHERISH IT! (Billy Madison Voice)



Smoothest Little Bro Ever At Texas Rangers Game (Video)

Hey guys, so graduation happened yesterday and I gotta say i’m going to miss UWGB and all my friends so much, I want a fuggin reunion once every month with all you guys. I’ll blog about that some other time though.

I stumbled on this video on VINE this morning and had to blog about it.



Play on playa!


 A couple things about this video:

-Nice catch little man, toooooo eeeeeasssyyyyy, kid definetley is a star on his little league team

-Tell me this kid wasn’t sitting in his seat all game, telling his buddies “if I catch a foul ball i’m turning right around and giving this baseball to the Smoke (hot girl) directly behind me who’s 14 years older than me. 

– Even the black kid is impressed with this kids game

– Check out the three girls reactions happier than when they all are having a wine night, all smiles here for these biddies. P.S. The girl who he gives the ball too looks like she’s been proposed to by the kid.


PS – How about the old hidden ball trick there?  Keep the foul ball while handing out a backup to the smoke?   Just a relentlessly savage move.


I’m assuming this is how girls react when i’m at The Bull, and turn around and hand them a W-Coke or Miller Latte.

Kid is a LEGEND.



Alex Morgan Golfing Is Hot

Stumbled on this Instagram video today, sweet Jesus.

It’s so easy to be a hot chick. Like seriously I’d be the best hot chick ever. Have dudes just drooling over me 24/7. All you got to do is shit like this 24/7. Do something innocent/cutsey like swinging a club at the driving range and then mix in a dash of sex with an ass shake at the end and it’s boner city. It ain’t rocket science ladies.


PS – Have a better ass Alex Morgan.  You can’t.



Final Night Slapping The Bull!

Hey guys, i’m overwhelmed even thinking about writing this blog, because there was so much crazy shenanigans and activities that took place last night and I was faded. Just sitting here wreaking of whiskey wondering what went wrong last night. As you all know for us seniors, it was our last night to slap the bull together and holy shit it was packed like sardines in that place, so many dudes and biddies just swiping body parts on my arrrrssss as they walked by me. Good news is the Brewers are beating the Scrubbies (Cubs) and I graduate tomorrow, bad news is I think i’ll still be hungover the time I cross that stage tomorrow.

Here’s how the night went, or at least what I remember of it. in chronological order.

Pregame- The pregame for me Swaggy C and the rest of the crew was in our bro’s apartments on campus, I stopped by Dad’s Liquor Store and picked up a liter of Captain Morgan and a 2 liter of Coke and proceeded to get ID’d by the cashier at the place i buy booze ever Thursday at. At the pregame some guido’s were running the table in beer pong and me and my partner Swaggy C then Finny played like shit and lost. Polished off about 1/3 of my bottle of captain before I went to the bar by the way, Jon Taffer from Bar Rescue would be pissed at me for overpouring but IDGAF. The next highlight of the pregame was taking a beer bong. Seriously this is a lost past time, just dumping beer in a funnell and watching it go down your throat like a champ. Check out my snapchat story if you want to see how i performed. By the way i’m having a graduation party on the farm and I WILL do a keg stand one last time in my life.

Arriving at the Bull- So we walk into the Bull and it’s like a fuggin sauna up in that bitch, I ask where’s Nia (my go to bartender) located her and she drops everything she was doing to mix me some W-Coke’s up for me, she’s such a doll. Dump those down my throat as fast as physically possible and start chirping with everyone in the bar. Literally everyone I ever had a class with who is graduating was at The Bull, I lived for it. I was getting pretty tuned up, just dancing, singing and taking selfie’s with people and then the whiskey hit me like a ton of bricks. This is where I got beligerant and started telling everyone I was the guest comencement speaker for our graduation. Got quite a few people to believe me, good times. Swaggy C is just wrecked at this point, kid literally needs a dog collar and leash on him sometimes, otherwise he’s just all over the bar barking at people. Not even sure what he was drinking, think it was Amaretto Sour’s or something my mother would drink. My other boy Fisch on the other hand was such a rockstar partying last night. Walks in crushes 4 W-Cokes in 30 minutes and is just getting sauced up. Lettuce looking like a combo between Johnny Football and Ryan Bryan. Boss Status. Too many people to go down the line and describe how hammed they were, because basically everyone was beligerant, going to miss those times with you guys.

Pictures- Felt like I was standing up in a weeding with how many pics we took last night, i’ll be up all night scrapbooking them. Pretty dope pics with 2 of my fave GB girls up on Instagram if you’re trying to look it up. If I may say so myself the white shirt with the grey pocket in front is such a frat but power move. Banana Republic will play. Despite being sunburned and tuuuuuneeeeddd up (drunk) i’m pretty happy with the way the pics turned out. Che Che was like the fuggin paparazzi out there, that’ll kill your phone Che Che.

Snapchat Game- I feel like my snapchat game was on point last night, unsure if I sent out pics of me in my Kenneth Cole boxer/briefs to everyone at the end of the night but by the looks of my stories i’m loving my performance. The look left, look right, drink is always working and I sent a ton of those out. I feel like a teenage girl, re-watching my stories over and over. Here’s a pic of Swaggy C just cashed out.



Pretty sure his mom and dad would be proud, going out on top #Blackout



Yours Truly just finishing up a beer bong and flashing the “Money Manziel” money sign move. Power Move no doubt about it.

Facebook Pimping- I got a little emotional and misty eyed after a few too many W-Cokes and threw up a heartfelt Facebook status about how much I’m going to miss everyone from UWGB, got a solid 25 likes, not as many as Swaggy C’s 50+ likes and Rachel’s 100+ likes on her new job and being done with school. Surprised i’m even popular enough to hang out with these celebrities. So hollywood I love it. P.S.- I can’t think of one single accomplishment or status that I could post that’d get me 100+ likes unless I got hitched to Carrie Underwood or some hollywood biddie.

XS- Just an awful idea to step foot in this place, but I can’t help myself it’s just so weird in there that I have to go. I felt like a dog in a kennell with how much time I spent in the cage last night, did get a chance to bust out a few dance moves though. Here’s what I busted out. Just so many people I’d never expect getting their grind on that were there. 

Taco Bell- I was so drunk I couldn’t even stomach some delicious taco bell, I went up to the counter order a large soda and then proceeded to fill it up with water, that’s the level I was on at the moment. So many people were just crushing taco’s like it was their last meal of their lives. Appreciate some of my girl friends, thinking that i’ve been lifting weights. Just CountryStrong that’s it ladies. That security guard who told us to keep it down a notch can GTFO of my face. Sarah and Hillary were grabbing my cheeks at Taco Bell like they were my fucking grandma, some part of me didn’t mind it. Wish we could’ve watched The Notebook together ladies.

A-Bar got greasy, almost slept on a futon that was about to break in half.

This Morning—– Woke up Finny, he looks down to make sure he doesn’t have morning wood before he comes out from the covers, we proceed to smash Al’s Hamburgers for Lunch. Such a hole in the wall diner with delicious food. 

Swaggy C had to “Sack Up” this morning and do 3 hours of community service for UWGB because he was “watching a movie too loud”. Kid just loved his life picking up cigarette butts all morning, just living the dream.


Soooo many biscuits.


Random Thoughts…

Look for the old shake hand, grab diploma, give professor Clampitt an ass slap tomorrow at Graduation.

Good chance i’ll be bedridden all day, giving up whiskey.

Have a weird craving for Chipotle right now, would pay $15 for a Grilled Chicken Burrito.


For the Bro’s pick which one you’d rather go out with… 



Brewers sideline reporter, Sophia Minnaert



Fox Sports Wisconsin Girl- Sage


I Vote….. SAGE!

Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyy (any girl in a packer jersey goes up 2 points on the 1/10 scale for me)



Tell ALL Story On How Much KASH loves his LIFE!!!

I figure its about time I write a blog again since KASH has been sweating me hard these past couple of weeks.  As some of you may remember my last blog was about how much I hate the Badgers and BO LION.  Well they ended up proving me wrong and making it to the FINAL FOURSOME where they got just got there hearts crushed.  Pretty sure KASH spiked my lemonades because I was actually starting to cheer for the badgers.  Well AnyWays the BADGERS still suck.

Now let’s get to the juicy part.  I don’t think I have ever met a person that loves their life more than KASH.  When I first met KASH he had me laughing practically every second he spoke.  The kid just seeks the attention by using his famous words like greasy, withered, flustered, legend, and so on even ask the rest of the bros.  I also don’t think I have ever gotten more belligerent with anyone else.

Just this last thur KASH walks into Cock N Bull with more swagg than anyone else I have ever seen.  He had hunnies all over him, I thought JOHNNY Fucking Manziel just walked through the door.  He sent me a text before he got there just saying that he was going to have a few dewskies. 10151186_10152059866595642_1173531156673837610_n And of course people are already handing this legend free WCokes.  Next thing I know an hour goes by, 4 WCokes later and a shot of Jamie and this kid is blitzed out of his minda and is the life of the party.

That was just one of the man
y instances KASH took the Bull by the Horns and tore them right off.  KASH also lives for the FUTSAL life, TENNIS life, and SOFTBALL life.  He likes to think hes Ronaldo on the fustal pitch, Federer on the tennis court, and Braun on the softball diamond.  But hey I guess everyone has dreams. hahaha  A couple weeks ago I decide to take KASH on at the tennis court after I havent played for about two years.  I raveged him in the first set and I’ve never seen a kid so flustered in my life.  You would have thought he just visited the devil and came back to earth.  Thats how much fire was in his eyes.  He ended up coming back and blowing me out of the court as if I would have played better not even tryin at all.

However KASH is the BEST FRIEND I could ever have.  Even though he pisses me off sometimes especially when he screens my phone calls.  If you ever want to get a hold of this kid never call him just send him a snap chat.  hahah  Love you Brother!!

This is KASH and I’s SONG That always gets us pumped up for the bull!!!

Be sure to Catch Us Getting WHITE BOY WASTED at the BULL this THUR


-Swaggy C

My New Dance Move (Inspired by Terio)

Hey guys, walked in 20 minutes late today to take a final, only thing that would’ve been more of a power move would’ve been wearing my cowboy boots and just having them click as I walk into the room. Crushed that exam in 20 minutes, piece of cake.

Didn’t plan on blogging today, but stumbled across his gem on VINE. If you don’t know who this little Hershey Butterball is, his name is Terio and he’s made tons of money off this original dance from him. Put him on the map.

I’m still convinced the dude who yells “ooooooh kill em ooooooh” is half the reason why these videos are so funny, but either way Terio has game.

Here is his newest video….

First of all, Terio, looking diesel bro. Big time summer season swole going on. Second, what was that move? The “here are my hands, here are my hands, touch my hands, hold my hands, just kidding you’re dumb I just made my hands disappear and now everyone is laughing at your stupid ass and I’m going to go sit on this couch because I’m out of breath” dance move. I want that move when i’m about to dance with a girl at XS this Thursday. Will be practicing up no doubt.



Saturday’s UWGB Softball Tournament Recap

Going for my 2nd blog of the day in an attempt to study and do my papers as little as possible. Fisch is currently to my left in a huge business meeting room after crushing a home cooked meal in the GB cafeteria. $1 coffee’s in the GB Coffee shop will play.

Anyways, i’m going to blog about my day on Saturday, where “We Got The Runs” fought our hearts out to win a championship.

The Morning-

I rolled out of rack at about 9am Saturday morning, not feeling too shabby after taking it easy on the Miller Latte’s the night before, pissed excellence and started to get my baseball clothes/gear ready. Woke up threw on a Red Nike Dri Fit tee, some blue and yellow nike shorts, and grabbed my red and grey Demarini glove, just pimping out my apparrel right off the bat. Look Good, Feel Good, Feel Good, Play Good is a life motto of mine.

The Drive/ Pregame- Listened to a little E.Church, Luke Bryan, Darius Rucker (Wagon Wheel) i’ve yet to meet a person yet who doesn’t sing this song at the top of their lungs when it comes on the radio. Stopped at McDonalds just ravaged a Bacon Egg’n Cheese Biscuit, stopped at the gas station scooped up some Big League Chew, and showed up at the ballpark. My team was there warming up, I introduced myself as K.A.S.H. and told them i’m here to rake the softball all day (hit it hard and far). Was loving the vibe of my teammates, super cool people.


If you played baseball or softball at all growing up i’m pretty sure you’ve had this stuff. Shit literally is gold in shredded shrands of bubblegum. I used to go through like 2 packs per game in little league.


Early Stages of the tournament- We just ravaged the first team we played 16-1 Mando and the bro’s on the other team were getting flustered at us because we were running up the score and just smashing the softball.

2nd game- This is where shit got ugly for our team. We played a pretty solid team and only had 8 players because Davy Crockett had to go run the golf shop, and another bro had to leave for a bit. Our sticks were weak this game and we only scored 4 runs and got our arrrrssssses smoked.

Lunch Time- Losing our game meant we could only lose one more game for the rest of the tourney. I told the team it’s time to “Sack Up” and we were going to win the whole Fckn thing. So we went up to the grill they had going and decided to dabble on some hot dogs and burgers. Fisch crushed a hot dog and kid was an absolute firecracker for the rest of the day, they must’ve soaked the dogs in some whiskey or something, kid was frisky as fuck. I got a greasy cheeseburger that was defected, just flipped all over the grill filled with juice. Run to the field and get ready to run the table.

Middle Games- Pretty simple stuff here. Put in Big League Chew, catch a buzz off it, everybody on the team rakes the softball, we win our next 3 games pretty easy. Fisch was on the pitching mound just deaaaaaalllllllliiiiiinnnnngggggg out there, Clayton Kershaw esq. Our girls were killin out there, so basically we made the ship and had to beat the undefeated time 2 times in the championship to take home the title.

Championship Games- This team was full of superstars who loved their lives. I made a web gem at 1st base that made a few girls squeal out in excitement. We won our first game pretty easily against them, cuz we just smashed the ball and killed it in the field.

No Water/ Dehydration/ Sunburn- They ran out of water, so our whole team was just playing and we’re all thirsty as a dog, just can’t even swallow because it feels like we have a dry towel in our mouth. I look down to see one of the hardest farmer tans i’ve ever had in my life, and some biddie in the stands says my face is getting cooked. At this point I just threw in some more Big League Chew and went on with the games.

The Ship/Celebration- In the 2nd game of the championship we were back and forth trading the lead with the other team, till we broke out one inning and scored a ton of runs. We won and celebrated like we won the World Series (which it basically was)

We got our team pic taken with the tournament bracket in front of us, going to be my cover picture on Facebook for the next year, no doubt about it. Then got our Under Armour UWGB Tees for winning the title, and proceeded to have shower beers and party.


Sunburn Update- I’ve been applying aloe vera every half hour to try and get my face in good enough shape to have a few sodas tonight.

School Update: 3 more exams left, going to be grinding in the library hard the next few days, and probably drink an unhealthy amount of alchohol on Thursday night to celebrate being done with school.    Coffee, Big League Chew, Lipsnacks, and country music will play in the library. Will be playing bangers in the library for everyone to hear. 

Honestly listen to this song and try not to sing as loud as you can, just gets me pumped up for summer.


I can’t be the only person who thinks it’s a sauna in the library, literally sweating off 5lbs up in this bitch.

Floor 3 of the Cofrin Library is for play, Floor 6 is for grinding. Legooo

Jpaul your pickle you got in and were safe on, on Saturday made me have a weird tingling in my pants. Just practices pickles in the back yard.

Lewandowski aka Scooter Gennett, raaaaakes








5 Things I Hate About Sunburn

Hey guys, it’s K.A.S.H. here, currently sitting up on the 5th floor in a study room sunburnt as fuck and hating life. If you don’t know by now “We Got The Runs” (our softball team for the UWGB intramural tournnament) played 7 games straight and won the ship. Literally the most fun softball tournaments i’ve ever played in my life. But what I didn’t realize is that I’d end up being sunburnt and looking like a damn lobster.

Here are the five things I’m hating most about being sunburnt

1.) Everyone stares at you- I’ve been on campus for 20 minutes and not one person hasn’t just stared at me in the hallway. I feel like I have a fucking dildo hanging off my face or something with some of the looks i’m getting from people. I asked for a private study room in the library and chick at the desk literally stared at me for like 10 seconds. Just getting discriminated against and i’m hating it. 



2.) Putting on Aloe Vera every 2 seconds- My life has consisted of putting on Aloe Vera every 2 hours to try and subside the burning and redness from this sunburn. It’s a fucking hassle, the lotion feels like i’m dropping an ice cube on my skin, and the skin leaves you feeling greasy. May hire someone to put aloe very on my arms and face all day, just because it’s torture doing it to yourself. If you see me applying Aloe Vera in my study room today, just keep it moving, no need to stare.

3.) Sleeping- At least I don’t have sunburn on my chest or back where you have to sleep shirtless, sitting up because otherwise it feels like your laying on an oven. But even still my arms, neck and face are sunburnt and it just sucks putting your head on your pillow and it feeling 

4.) Everyone asking if I got too much sun or pointing it out- Show up after winning the softball championship at my best friend’s graduation party and 5 people come up to me and ask if I got sunburnt today, does it looking like I got fucking sunburnt or rubbed marinara sauce all over my face? This is getting old as fuck already and it’s been 2 days. Or the biddie at the gas station telling me “oh it looks like you got a little sunburnt today, should’ve wore sunscreen”. First of all thanks for your observation and concern, but I don’t need a 50 year old woman commenting on my sunburn as I try to buy 4 gatorades to flush out the sunburn, and the giants bag of ice i’m going to smear on my face for the night to get rid of the pain.

5.) Farmers Tan- Grew up on a farm so it’s not a huge deal, but I decided to wear a Nike Dri-Fit short sleeve T-shirt and i’m pretty confident everyone in the world can tell where my shirt line ended up. Just walking around wearing 3/4 length sleeve baseball tees until I get my upper arms and biceps tan as well. It would be a power move to rock a sleeveless shirt on campus, just embracing the farmers tan. 

Swaggy C said he’ll blog 2-3 times this week, I will buy his first round of drinks at The Bull if he does this.

Picked up a famous follower yesterday on the Twitter Account

I will probably overdose on whiskey this Thursday at The Bull, because it’s my graduation/going away party there, 1 last time to drink there while still a student. No regrets you guys, no regrets. 



This is my buddy from high school “Wildlife” kid has “No Regrets” tatooed on his right bicep. Such a guido.

Just dumping Buschski’s down his throat on a pontoon boat, sounds like my upcoming summer plans.