Hey guys, I currently feel like a bag of dicks at the moment, just a state of emergency over here. Tons of homework to do for tomorrow and i’m running on like 3 hours of sleep, so I figured the smartest thing to do was blog. I decided to get away from Green Bay for the weekend, for a change of pace and i’m paying for it this morning. Here’s a recap and my thoughts of last night’s night out in downtown Appleton
1.) There are soooooo many broooooo’s (Anduzzis)
I walk into Anduzzi’s (Appleton) and this is all I see.. guido’s on guido’s on guido’s. Tight affliction shirts, spiked hair and a bunch of Buckle gear. I walk in and order a few overpriced watered down W-Cokes and try my hardest to have a conversation with my buddies who are 2 feet away from me. Place is cranking and full of what I think were good looking women, but it was too dark to see. Some bittie walks up to me asks me to dance, I said i’ll dabble and busted these moves out on her… she asked me what I wanted to to drink, I said “I’ll take a W-Coke” she didn’t understand what this was, and it was a turn off. Took my drink she bought me and drank it out of a straw like a real girl. We go upstairs to Anduzzi’s and I honest to God thought I walked into a strip club, there were 2 female dancers dancing on top of the bar and looking into the mirrors, this just isn’t for me at a bar, just a fucking circus. I just felt bad for the girls dancing and had to leave. Dancefloor story: I was dancing with a girl, and I accidentally bumped into some bro and he threatened to kick my ass, I tried to take the high road and he wasn’t having it. I called him a daisy pusher and got the fuck out of Duzzi’s.
Watch from 1:50-2:20- This is their head football coach, this is me someday just dripping in swagger at the age of 35. By the way, i’m busting out the backwards visor, baller shades, and 5o’clock shadow this summer all day everyday.
2.) The Dirty Leprechaun- After the debacle that was Anduzzi’s, there was a little rumor there were $3 bombs at The Dirty Leprechaun. I honestly thought this place was pretty tight, chill place, people wearing the appropriate shirt sizes, no Baby GAP shirts on dudes. Ordered a captain and coke and it taste like a fucking diet coke. This is where I never know if I should confront the bartender or just plug my nose and drink the watered down shit I paid $5 for. I took the high road and didn’t say anything. Till I went up for a Jack and Coke and I told the bartender “Hey I know you didn’t pour my last drink but it was a little light on the booze” she then loaded me up with Jack and I was a happy fucking camper. Power move by me. I ran into a Bears fan who bought me like 3 shots, I couldn’t even tell you the letter his first name starts with, chirped at him how Julius Peppers will be dry humping Jay Cutler after multiple sacks this season and the free drinks ended from him. Ran into some random people from high school who I didn’t want to talk to and pulled the old fake phone call on them to get away from talking about some tired ass conversation.
3.) I hate shots- I used to “shots guy” where I’d just rifle like 10-15 shots off in a night and feel like a dozen roses the next morning. Well I hung out with people who like shots and I don’t know how I kept all those Blackberry Brandy’s and Lunchboxes down. Lesson to be learned here kids just stick to Latte’s and W-Cokes and you’ll be in good shape. I’m here in my Brewers sweatshirt, watching hockey just cuddling up with my 3 empty gatorade bottles that i’ve crushed today. I’m ashamed to say it but I pulled the “I gotta go to the bathroom trick” when my buddies order up shots of goldshlogger, always gotta be thinking you guys..
4.) CU Saloon- This place is fucking dope as hell. Only got to spend like 45 minutes here at the end of the night, but I wish I would’ve just bellied up by the bar all night at this place and chatted up some nice country girls. Seriously music is money at this bar, girls were cute and the vibe was so damn chill, my kind of place for sure. Bartender said i looked like Tim Tebow, I got misty eyed and ordered my 8th Jack and Coke on the night. I will wear my cowboy boots and come to this place again, really wish I remembered more about what was on the wall and everything but at this point I was beligerent. Bar close came and I was drinking my Jack D and Coke out of a mason jar (such a power move by the way) when some skinny ass bouncer tries to take my drink away. This has to be one of my biggest pet peeves at the bar when bouncers start shouting “bar close” and start getting up in your face and trying to push you out of the bar. Me and my buddy Murph weren’t having it, barked at the bouncer a little bit before we were escorted out by a couple of friendly meaty ass bouncers.
Literally my favorite movie of all time- went as Harry Dunn for Halloween one year- total chick magnet outfit. Pretty concerned those pictures are going to surface on my wedding picture slideshow one day.
5.) Taco Bell- Obviously it’s Taco Bell time, and i’m thinking i’m dude from “Man Vs. Food” just ordering the whole fucking menu. Nah j/k but my order consisted of…. 2 soft shells (no lettuce), 1x 5 layer burrito, 1x cool ranch doritos locos taco, 1x order of cinnamon twists. Crushed the food, had a little A-Bar and slept like a boss on a beanbag chair. If you ever want to feel awful about yourself just look at the Taco Bell nutrition facts after you just crushed 6 taco’s Sodium for daaaaayyyssssss. Gonna pumped out 1000 pushups and situps just to lose the calories. IDK what it is about Taco Bell but i’ve got a sweet tooth for it.
6.) My Snapchat Game Needs to be Tightened Up- I realize I need to tighten up my snapchat game, Too many drunken MYSTORY’S and snaps. People were staring at me when I was doing my look both ways and drink move last night.
Idk if I should be proud of myself or ashamed at how obnoxious I was on SnapChat last night, think i’m going to ban myself for 3 days.
Here are a few things i’ve brought to the snapchat game….
- Look left, look right, head nod and drink your beer
- the lipsyncing in the car to your favorite country song
- sending a snap video saying I just got done with a shift at the sawmill after i’m doing with school
- Selifies in front of people who are making out in the background
7.) My Green Bay Girls were out- Thiiiiiisssss flustered the shit out of me, hearing a few of my Green Bay girls were out and we all went to the same 3 bars and I didn’t run into a single one of them. I’ll let their names be anonymous, but they’re fun as hell to chill/drink with. Idk if they were getting after it on the dance floor at Duzzi’s or what, but I should’ve reached out in a snap stating where I was at. My bad ladies, may have to dabble at The Bull to tell our stories from last night. Def. would’ve bought y’all a W-Coke or Latte, I also was out with a buddy who would’ve bought you shots for dayzzz.
8.) Swaggy C needs to step his game up- Drank with him Thursday night and he did good. But the kid is just getting withered lately. Here is a pic of him just passed out while Fish, me and him were having a bro sesh watching Entourage.
Just passed out like an old man on his recliner, just lucky we’re good bro’s and didn’t draw penises on his face or slap ham on his face.
Also here is a picture of him just cooked out of his mind last night, send from a reader.
I don’t think you’re wrist is supposed to bend that way bro.
Random: Tell me i’m not the only one who has woke up during the middle of the night with a numb arm thinking they broke their arm, just one of the scarier things in life.
I have my first co-ed softball game tonight in Neenah- so pumped up. I usually ball out at shortstop but with how hungover I am, hit it to me for a guaranteed hit.
If this blog isn’t in my top 5 best blogs I quit
The Brewers are red fucking hot right now
May start deleting people on snapchat, 60 contacts is ridiculous.
Time to nap before softball, looking to hit a homer tonight, later guys.