Month: February 2014

10 Reasons Why Twitter is Better Than Facebook

Hey guys haven’t blogged in a while because I was too busy chilling with Johnny Football Manziel, and making that money, but i’m getting the urge to blog before this tired ass class.

I recently noticed i’ve been using Twitter 100x more than i’ve been using Facebook lately, and i’m going to tell you why Twitter is better than Facebook.

1.) I Can Unfollow You Instead of Unfriend- We’ve all had it before where you meet some drunk bro/girl at the bar and they want to add you on Facebook immediatley, I usually oblige (especially if it’s a girl) and then I wake up the next morning feeling like shit seeing they are fucking annoying. That or you add someone from one of your class groups from school to be able to contact each other easier, but you don’t want to delete them off the Book because you might see them in the hallways and shit just gets awkward. Fuck that on Twitter i’ll click unfollow and go on to the next one, it’s a beautiful thing.

2.) My aunts/12 year old cousins are on it- Story time: I remember back in the days when K.A.S.H. used to get beligerantly drunk and pictres would appear on Facebook from some rando’s who I was mingling with at the bar. My 45 year old aunt comes up to me asking how my partying life is going, and who’s the girl i’m in the pic with is? FUCK THIS. this is my sign to get off Facebook and never come back, no old people should be able to see me when i’ve had about 8 too many Miller Lite’s or i’m trying to swing a girl, this just pisses me off. Another thing is my 12 year old cousins asking me to play FarmVille and asking what I mean when I put up some funny status, shit just bothers the hell outta me. There should be a Facebook for the following ages. 10-17 year old, 18-30 year olds, 30-90 year olds.

3.) Twitter keeps is short, Facebook is story telling time-  Ok, once in a while i’ll throw a nice little few sentence message out their for my Facebook fans in a post. Do not get this confused with people going on a fricken tangent posting about their fucking day or their workout, or relationship. Honestly GTFO of here you annoying peasants. Drop 140 characters on me and if you can’t do it in that amount of characters odds are whatever you’re saying is irrelevant.

4.) Selfies- Little disclaimer: Every girl i’m friends with on Facebook,I’m not referring to you, considering i’ve deleted the selfie whores. I shit you not I used to be friends with this chick who posted 3 selfies a day, 1 in the morning, another mid day and one at night in the mirror before bed. It took everything in my power to not comment smart ass comments on these pics. I understand there are days you’re looking good and a selfie is needed and i’m cool with this because you girls are beautiful, but i’m referring to the girl who posts selfies everyday to see how many likes she can get. Just snapped a sick selfie, gonna post of Facebook, prolly get about 3 likes.

P.S.- I pray one day a girl who always posts selfies gets no likes the whole day.. Evil I know but may be some good medicine for her to cool it

5.) PPL who post 5 statuses a day- I’m sorry but if you do this, you’re a fucking loser. I don’t give a fuck: where you ate, how great your workout felt, how blessed you are, what movie you just watched, or what you think about this weather. I do however like this stuff if you post it on Twitter where i can scroll quickly.

7.) Twitter is strictly words not pictures- There are a few times (more Than I can count on both hands) where i’ve slapped The Bull too hard at Cock ‘N Bull or did some regrettable shit when out having a few sodas, but nothing flusters me more than when i’m just all Hammed up and I wake up to 12 just hideous pictures of me doing dumb shit. This is where snapchat should be utilized. Only pic you’ll find of me on Twitter is me looking clean in a baby blue vest, rocking the suit jacket over my shoulder. Such a power move.

8.) People who live for “Likes” One of my best friends is “obsessed with LIKE’s guy”. The kid will seriously put up a status and get a boner every time he gets likes on his status. He tries so hard to make funny statuses or statuses people will like that it just annoys the fuck out of me. If you’re “tries to get likes guy” you can GTFO of here because no one likes you. Attention craving douche bags who have no social life are this person and it bothers me. I will purposley not like a status if I recognize I’m friends with a person like this. However, if you get a Retweet on a Twitter that’s such a Boss move. It’s tough to get a retweet on Twitter unless your Kim K or Miley, If I get a retweet that means someone is bold enough to retweet the crazy inappropriate shit I tweet about. Live for it.

9.) Baby Pictures- I recently had to delete a girl because she made a fucking Facebook account for her 3 month old baby boy. This is fucking ridiculous, thank God she didn’t post statuses under his account, but if I want to see pictures of him i’ll come over to your house with a case of Miller Lite’s and come check out his baby book, until that happens use your head. Tons of chicks are popping out babies and that’s great, but honestly unless i’m one of your best friends I don’t really want to see your babies poop diaper or him in the bath tub. Trust me when I have a kid i’ll love the shit out of him, but I won’t be posting pics of him on Facebook every day, damn kids whole life doesn’t need to be documented for the whole world to see. If someone takes a pic of that kid in a dress and puts it on Facebook he’ll never live that down.

10.) Facebook just copies other sites- Facebook is for the chickens. They steal shit from other social media sites all the time.

1.) The timeline (from Twitter) GTFO of here Facebook Twitter had that trending shit years ago.

2.) Facebook tried to be cool with “sharing” posts and link, nah piss off Zuckerberg i’ll Retweet it, much easier and it sounds cooler.

3.) Hashtags- Yes Facebook tried to steal the single most famous thing Twitter is know for…. Hashtags. Seriously eat my ass Zuckerberg, hashtagging on Facebook just sucks, even though I catch myself doing it. It’s pointless, no one searches hashtags on Facebook.

 

After further review, maybe I should’ve named this blog “Why I hate Zuckerberg and Facebook”

 

Damnit now i’m flustered and want to delete my Facebook account

 

Zuckerberg blows

 

K.A.S.H.

5 Reasons I Want To Date A College Athlete

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My whole life I’ve had a thing for girls that play sports. If you play sports you’e automatically 2 points hotter in my book. I’ve dated girls that aren’t big into sports, it’s not quite a deal breaker but my god if you play sports I think we’re destined for each other.

The following reasons I want to date an athlete in college are in no particular order, just whatever I think of:

1.) Go to all their games

There’s nothing sexier than a woman in uniform, I don’t care if it’s soccer, basketball, volleyball tennis, they’re all the same and athletes are just smoking hot in their uni’s. I also think it’d be pretty tight to be boyfriend fan guy, where you have season tickets go to every game home and away and just cheer your ass off, while your girlfriend owns other chicks in the sport.

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Not quite sure if i’m ready to be “wears girlfriends jersey to game guy” yet, this is a bold move man, that consequences of doing this could be fatal.

2.) They are in incredible shape- Almost every college athlete, doesn’t matter on what class, size, or position has a banging body. These chicks are working out year round, getting up at 6am and doing insane workout while my dumbass is nursing a hangover or sleeping in because I stayed up too late watching Netflix. These girls have fucking washboard abs and legs for days. This seems like such a shallow reason for me to name but honestly, if she tells you an athlete you can check it off the list as her being in great shape.

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Here’s a pic of U.S Women’s soccer team players Alex Morgan (closer) and Sydney Leroux (with the big boobs) Sydney Leroux is a fucking goddess.

3.) Celebrity that goes with it- Don’t tell me their isn’t a celebrity to who’s dating the dudes on the Men’s Basketball team, I’m pretty sure it goes the same way if you’re dating a girl on any of the athletics teams. I cold go from an average fucking dude on campus, but if I started dating one of the hotties or star players on a athletics team, people will know my name and probably buy me free food, not take my seats in class and do my homework for me. This is how I see it, sports rules the fucking world and it’s the same way at GB. I just imagine going to a game sititng in the stands and people not even knowing my name but just seeing me rocking my girlfriends jersey and coming up to me and introducing themselves. so sweet.

4.) They’re Competitive- There is something that’s phenomenal about a chick who’s got a competitive edge to her. Not only only the field, but off the field, it’s such a game changer when she has that trait about her. Yeah it might start a few minor fights when she beats your ass in FIFA14 or beats your ass in a game of HORSE. Man up and take it, you’ve got yourself a winner.

5.) They probably love watching sports- Football Picture

I guarantee you this couple pictured above is so fucking happy. I’m already jealous of this Justin Bieber looking fuck. If she plays sports, odds are she’ll be down to watch some sports game on tv or if you’ve got a great one even go to games with you. I’m so flustered I haven’t met this chick wearing the #2 jersey above, pretty much a dealbreaker that if a girl can’t stand my passion for sports she needs to go on to the next one. I will sit down and watch the Notebook for a girl too, got a sensitive side to me as well.

 

Feel like I got too personal on this one, but whatever, shit is all true talk.

 

K.A.S.H.

Booze Reviews: Wild Irish Rose

Well miscreants it’s that time of the week again. Time for old Slam here to step out from his cardboard box, reach into his magic grocery cart, and pull out a brown bag which conceals a fermented fluid so foul that the stench is enough to get you buzzed. It’s time for another Booze Review. This week we’re taking a look at a classic: Wild Irish Rose.

What is it?

Wild Irish Rose, or as bumwine.com refers to it, “Rosie with the Skirt,” is a classic beverage and a mainstay of many a vagabond. Wild Irish Rose is something out of legend. Upon opening the cap, the user is assaulted (yes, this is the correct word to use here) by the smell of what I can only describe as a moldy sponge dipped in grape juice, frozen, thawed, placed in a 5 gallon bucket filled with rubbing alcohol, aged a year, and then dumped into this fine glass bottle. Where Mad Dog is comically disgusting, this stuff will make you gag after every sip.

The Math

The cost of Wild Irish Rose is about $2.50 – $3.00. If you are paying more than $3.00 for Wild Irish Rose you are being ripped off. At a whopping 17% ABV for $3.00, we are talking a cost of about 5.6% ABV per dollar. If I did my math right. Which I probably didn’t. Because I drink this shit kids. Always double check your math. And make sure to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

The Taste

Pouring this pungent potable down your pipe might cause panic at first. Don’t worry, that’s just the taste of rubbing alcohol mixed with the tiniest hint of “grape” flavor. The same way Taco Bell uses”100% beef product,” I’m sure the wizards over at the ol’ Wild Irish Rose Vineyard painstakingly craft this sauce to perfection using “100% grape product.”

Packaging

Irish Rose

Available in two sizes: Lose your job fast or lose your job faster.

Please do not drink this.

Enjoy responsibly.

-Slam

UWGB Confessions

Hey guys sorry for being away for so long.  I was busying bingeing on the entire second season of “House of Cards” over the weekend.  Long story short I should probably go to rehab for my Netflix addiction.  Right now I feel so shaddy as I am desperately trying to write this blog on a school computer in the Cofrin Library.   Now let’s get to some stuff that K.A.S.H and I have been talking about for sometime.

UWGB Confessions

Going on a couple of years, the University of Wisconsin Green-Bay Confessions page has been a big hit around campus.  Now its time for Swaggy C here to shed some light on a few confessions that either get me heated or make me question the amount of dumb asses there are.

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Man there are some horny women around this campus just looking to be pleased. To the girl that wrote this, what a powerful social media move.  As for who ever this Trever guy is, my advice to you is don’t give this girl the pleasure of you performing sexual favors. If a girl is asking that on confessions she is most likely paper bag material.  Unless that’s Trever’s thing, then hats off to him.

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What the Hell is a “struggle snuggle”? Seriously? Do you choke the girl while your snuggling? Or have you downed way to many cheese fries and miller lights, which makes you a fat as lard?  Which means she has to struggle to stay on the bed, since take up all of it.

Family zoned

You got family zoned?  My guess is you were probably drunk off your mind after bingeing on some sodas, as well as depressed as shit.

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The forsure sounds like a smokers comment.  I fricken love listening to pot heads talk, they come up with the craziest shit.   But if this were to really be true you would have a lot more men staring at asses.  Since there would be nothing to look at on top.

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This is probably a gamer comment, or some dumb gullible kid that takes notes on the first day of class.  First off the second “Anchor Man” movie was dumb as hell, and Ron Burgandy isn’t even real.  Secondly get a life then.

Also the people that like and comment on everything, are probably the same people that write all of them.

 

Swaggy C

Sh!t Nobody Says…UWGB edition

So we have been sitting on this gem for quite some time. My roommate and I came up with it sophomore year but never really did anything with it. So without further ado, I introduce our short list of sh!t nobody says at UWGB. And don’t take this too seriously, its just some funny observations we made two years ago all in good fun and ribbing. Enjoy

-I sure do love living in Roy

-Hey everyone, let’s go eat at the grille!!

-Let’s go to After Hours sober tonight!

-Man, the corner store has such reasonable prices.

-You guys wanna go to a party, it’s just a short walk from campus…

-MAC Hall is soooo warm in the winter, why did i wear this sweater

-Let’s go for a swim in the bay

-Erberts and Gerberts never messes up my order…

-There is always something fun to do here on the weekends

-These trad couches are soooo comfortable

-I’m not really a huge Packers fan

That all we got to at the time and never really added more. Hope you found at least one of these funny. Tweet us something you never hear people saying on campus.

–MARS

Asher Roth “I Love College” Breakdown

Hey guys I was inspired for the idea of this blog by a music class i’m taking, where we were asked to think of a song that was a hit with a group of people. So me being the creative person, chose Asher Roth “I Love College”, this song was a banger when I was a Freshman and I swear this is what I thought College was like. I’m going to break down the video/song and let you know if this song is true about being in college.

1.) We do not party in fucking penthouses- Right off the bat Asher has to go and piss  me off because he looks like he’s partying in a 10 million dollar penthouse. Where I come from I was partying in a shitty ass house, where 8 dudes lived, with pizza boxes stacked to the ceiling and beer cases being used as wallpaper. Shit isn’t classy at house parties in college the houses are greasy, the bathroom toilets rarely are clean and the basement is like a fucking dungeon till you throw some christmas lights and light up beer signs up for decoration.

2.) Red Solo Cups- It’s a rule in college that Red Solo Cups are the only thing you can drink alchohol out of in college, don’t try and break that trend, my kids will be drinking out of them so let’s stop the discussion. I’ll never forget first college party I go to everyone is drinking out of a Red Solo, such a Freshy move. Shit’s gotten even more famous here, on Shark Tank.

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Dude invented Red Solo cup with a molded in shot glass in the bottom. I’m so damn flustered at this I started to cry watching it on tv.

3.) I’ve only been to one party with chicks and dudes in their undies- this involved about 6 people and there was tons of Tequila involved. Don’t get your hopes up kids

4.) Beer Pong- I’m going to throw myself under the bus, in college I was “beer pong guy”. Always playing and trying to run the table at every party, just a fascinating game. I even was pathetic enough to use beer pong as a way to get chicks, so many ways, flirting accross the table, me and my buddy play a couple of chicks, and make some tired bet stating that if we win, you have to make out with us. Shit was so amateur hour. P.S.- Bouncing is for liberals and fags

5.) Don’t Pass out with your shoes on- Oh god I could tell you an hours worth of stories on the shit I see when people pass out early at a house party. One of them is one of my buddies got all liquored up and passed out at like 11am and work up with both his eyebrows shaved off. Now this is taking it too far but my God kids let a lesson be learned. Worst i’ve ever had done to me is getting dicks drawn on my face, pictures of dudes asses on my face appearing on Facebook the next day. Bob Costas definetley passed out with his shoes on.

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6.) Supermodel chicks everywhere- There are a lot of good looking girls in college and at house parties, but I can pretty much promise you they won’t be in their panties making out with you or having a fucking pillow fight. Asher turned up a little bit too much in the video.

7.) Wish we taped a party- Yes and No. Yes, because some pretty epic shit does go down when you have 100 college kids packed in a basement like a can of sardines and their binging off Natti Light and Gordons Vodka. About 10% of the parties were so awesome I wished we taped it. On the other hand, I’ve done some pretty stupid shit at parties that I’m class I didn’t have to re-live the next day. Just a bunch of dandies.

8.) The 3 minute mark in this video– is where I get all jacked up and pumped. This song was out when I was a Freshman and everyone in the fucking withered basement would go retarded and just do some epic shit when this part of the song was on. Whenever I hear the words “Freshman, Freshman, do something crazy do something crazy” it makes me want to run through a wall or pound a few Miller Lite’s. Shit is inspiring.

9.) Kegstand- Kegstands fucking ravage, it is something you have to do before you are allowed to get your college diploma. One of the best feelings in the world when you put that tapper to your mouth and your buddies are holding your legs up like a fucking wheelbarrell. I still have the picture from my first one on Facebook, gonna have to delete that shit before I get into the corporate world. If you haven’t done a kegstand yet and you’re in college, message me and we’ll make it happen.

10.) Asher Roth is a living legend- This is the single greatest song about college. He can go to any college town and walk into a house party and be treated like a king. Chicks throwing themselves at them, dudes offering up their best beer which is probably some shitty ass “Hamms Light” and he can live it up. Can I just be Asher Roth at a different college campus every weekend for a year.

So pumped right now, changed my ringtone to this song and watched the video 12 times.

Let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

K.A.S.H.

5 Reasons I’m Quitting Drinking For a Month

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This morning I woke up with a killer headache, stuffed up nose, sore throat, and 3 fat ass cats on my body from sleeping over at my buddies house, and I said, “I gotta quit the sauce for a while”. I don’t even get hammed as much as I used to a few years ago (basically every night) but the hangovers are 10x worse than they were. I’m done rambling here are the 5 reasons why I’m giving up drinking for a month.

1.) Feeling like shit

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Sorry for how fucking huge this picture is. This is a picture of a kid I know who woke up after a bender and he is the definition of the word “Withered”. Dude can’t even keep his eyes open he’s so wrecked, the only reason he’s got that greasy smirk on his face is because someone told him he’d be crushing Chinese food within the next 20 minutes. But seriously from my standpoint, the hangovers are getting out of hand, either i’m drinking enough to kill a herd of cattle or i’m getting old. 

2.) It makes you ffffaaaattttttttt

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This is a pretty standard pregame session here with me and my boys. Drinking from a beer bong that looks like a freaking cow’s utter. This shits just getting old for me at the moment, I need 30 days to refresh and then get back to dumping beer down my throat. There are 96 calories in a Miller LIte, on a normal drinking night I will crush 12-15 of these. That is roughly 1300 calories. This shit is not healthy. But there’s another factor, when i drink till bar close I turn into a lard ass and want to ea a fuggin horse.

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Toppers Pizza is my go-to food after a long night of drinking and this is dangerous. Crushing a pizza and a triple order of Toppers sticks is just an awful life choice and it will make you put on 10-15 lbs eaaaasssyyy. This isn’t even me mentioning the Chinese/ other fatty ass foods you buy to soak up that booze from the night before. I think i’d drop 10 lbs without even working out if I gave up the sauce for 30 days.

3.) Save Money

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If I counted up all the money I spent drinking out at the bars, I’m fairly confident i’d have enough money to buy a used car. I’m not as bad as I was back in the day, but I used to drop a hundy every weekend, now I keep it to like 20-30 a night. Either way, it would be cool to save a few Bennies over the month I took off. My friend has a $2,000 bar tab so I don’t feel like a degenerate one bit. Wcokes and Miller Lites burn a whole in your pockets kids, but damn are they delicous. 

4. I want to prove to myself I can “stay on the wagon”

For those of you who don’t know “on the wagon” means your abstaining from a certain alcohol. This shit would be a real test for me, all the kids I hang out with are real dandies who love crushing beer and i’d be tempted everyday to drink. If i made it a month I’d deserve a fucking medal and a case of beer. I’d be having nightmares of Miller Lite and that sweet nectar being dumped in my mouth, and wake up in a deep sweet and crush a diet coke instead. I would love to see the people who bet that I can’t make it a month without drinking, shit would be funny. I’m getting flustered at the idea of even going a week without those malted Miller Lite hops, but shit needs to be done.

5.) So I can go back to my days of a “Calvin Klein Underwear Model”

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Many of you guys probably don’t know this but my Freshman year I was a Calvin Klein Underwear model at a stout 180lbs, i’d like to get back to those days and making ladies faint. 

 

This is just an awful idea, this sucks and now i’m flustered.

 

K.A.S.H.

Valentine’s Day

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It’s Valentine’s Day and I took a few days off to refresh/ go to the bull and have way too many sodas, so i’m back here to give you my take on Valentine’s Day. I’ve been in relationships and been single on Valentine’s Day so i’ll give you my 2 cents on this day.

Single People

  • Single Guys- I’ve been a single guy on Valentine’s Day and let me tell you, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s one fucking day of the year where every couple spends the night with each other, so you might feel alone. Don’t be so damn soft bro and sack the hell up. Find some of your fellow single bro’s and go out to the tavern and have some sodas, who knows maybe you’ll meet your future girlfriend. I have no issue with not doing anything on this holiday either, pick up a greasy pizza, or a chipotle burrito and crush some Netflix.
  • Here are a few DO NOT’s for single guys… Do NOT get all depressed and shit and put up stupid ass Facebook posts and Tweets about how lonely you are and you wish you were spending the night with a girl. I will slap the shit out of any guy who does this because that’s weak sauce and if you keep up that attitude you’ll be in the same boat next Valentines Day.
  • This is a tweet from my buddy from his Twitter account. “With hand lotion and a new rag Im all set for valentines day”

This is freaking hilarious! Dude is prepared for not having a girlfriend or even getting laid for the next full 12 months, props to this guy for admitting he’s not getting laid on Valentine’s Day or anytime in the near future. 

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Single Girls- 

Now this is where K.A.S.H. may take some heat on his opinion, but fuck it here it goes. Girls who are single on Valentine’s Day could be sad and depressed and this is totally understandable, but let me tell you I think there are ways to make the best of this.

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Wine solves everything for women, or at least that’s the vibe I get from every girl who had a bad day or wants to unwind, give a girl some Franzia and just let her work shit out. Wine will solve everything on Valentine’s day, and leave you with a nice headache in the morning. For dudes I recommend Fireball Whiskey

Stay off Facebook for the night- This shit will bother you if you see your girlfriends posting pics of their fucking goody basket they got from their boyfriend along with some OPEN FLOWERS. “Open Flowers” show that the dude got the flowers 10 minutes before he showed up to your house and those roses are gonna be dead tomorrow in the morning, damn slacker. But Facebook is like a goddamn flower and chocolate showcase and it flusters the hell out of me. I logged onto Facebook this morning and wanted to punch my laptop screen in.

Stay calm ladies, it’s one day and you’ll all find that special someone.

Tips for Bro’s in relationships

  • Buy her chocolate and flowers– this is all standard and pretty traditional stuff, but she’ll flip shit if she doesn’t receive both of these. She’ll send your ass packing if you forget these, and you myaswell stop at Wal-Mart and scoop some Jergens Lotion.
  • Take her out to eat somewhere nice- Now is not the time to be cheap, you better bring at least a $50 bill and expect to have none left. Don’t be a fucking cheapskate and try and take her to a place like McDonalds or Fazolli’s, that shits for the chickens. Take her to Nakashimas, get her a couple cocktails and for god sakes pull out her chair and the whole nine yards it’s a special day.
  • Buy her a giant Teddy Bear- This is such a power move, guarantee she’ll love this shit, and every time you step foot in her room she’ll bring up how much she loves that gift. Boom you’re welcome
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  • YOU’RE NOW THE MAN, AFTER GIVING HER THIS MONSTER

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Shiiiiit, I might by myself a dozen of these roses, shit is beautiful, makes me wanna cry.

Girls—

All I ask of you on Valentine’s day is you don’t expect a disney parade in your honor, if you’re guy puts forth a good effort give him some props and give him some love

OTHER THOUGHTS—–

  • Don’t Propose on Valentine’s Day-  This is such an unoriginal move and quite frankly a peasant move. She’s probably expecting it, and everyone would lose respect for you.

I do miss the days of grade school when everyone gave everyone a card and candy, this shit was incredible. I was scared shitless of talking to girl in the 3rd grade but you bet your ass i’m eating those Bottlecaps you threw in that card for me.

By the way i’m still hungover as shit from The Bull last night, pretty epic stuff happened last night may have to blog about it.

K.A.S.H.

Mens Bathroom Manners

There is nothing worst when your taking a leak and some random dude that rolls with the rainbow bus, decides to pull up to the urinal right next to you.  While there a three other ones that were empty that he could have gone to.  Then you have to stop pissing mid stream which is probably hardest thing to humanly possibly do.  After that put the sausage away zip up and walk away, and come back later when the rainbow bus is gone.

There needs to be a set on manners that all men must abide by, otherwise you get neutered and loose your man hood.  The bathroom isn’t a place for mens doubles luge. (Most Rainbow Sporting event ever)

RULE ONE Choose Urinal furthest for another Dude

However there are exceptions to this rule.  If the only urinal left is next to another dude, you may go ahead and use it.

RULE TWO No pissing in the same Urinal with another Dude

I know bros sometimes can get a little bro ish when they are drunk.  But the f-in bathroom isn’t for fencing or sword fighting.  Unfortunately last night I was a witness to this occurrence at the Cock N Bull while I walked into the bathroom and say two bros just fighting swords.  I turned around went to the bar and had shot a tequila in hopes of erasing the shitty memory.

RULE THREE No Cutting in Line

This is the oldest rule in the books.  A rule we learn about on our very first day of class in kindergarten, while we’re taking notes.  But for some reason dumb ass tough guys think they can do it sometimes.

RULE FOUR Wash Your HANDS

Honesty it disgruntles me when some degenerate just gets done pissing or taking a shit and walks out of the bathroom with out washing their hands.  For those woman that are reading this, Yes this does happen.  Seriously I wish their was someone outside the door of the bathroom that would cut people hands off if they didn’t wash them.

Here’s a Video of Mens Doubles Luge

Swaggy C

Booze Reviews: MD 20/20 Coco Loco

A hearty hello to all fellow ne’er do wells out there. With the weekend fast approaching, it’s time to think about what form of the devil’s water you’ll be consuming this weekend. Don’t worry, Uncle Slam is here to help. This week we’ll take a look at MD 20/20 Coco Loco.

What is it?

MD 20/20 (referred to as “Mad Dog” by bums and degenerates all over the world) is some of the cheapest, foulest, most-bang-for-your-buck “wine” money can by. In it’s purest form, Mad Dog is a red grape citrus “wine.” Coco Loco, as one could suspect, mixes up the classic formula by adding a coconut flavor. This makes the wine taste not unlike something you would find at a luau held under a bridge.

The Math

The cost of Coco Loco is $3.99 – $4.29. If you are paying more that $4.50 you are getting ripped off. At roughly $4 a bottle and with a 13% abv, you’re looking at a cost of about 3.25% abv/dollar. A pretty good bum bargain if you ask me.

The Taste

This swill tastes like rubbing alcohol mixed with a coconut scented car air freshener. You will not taste coconut until about five seconds after taking a sip.

Packaging

Classic Mad Dog Bottle. Note the instructions on the back.

MD FrontMD Back

Please enjoy responsibly.

-Slam