Hey guys haven’t blogged in a while because I was too busy chilling with Johnny Football Manziel, and making that money, but i’m getting the urge to blog before this tired ass class.
I recently noticed i’ve been using Twitter 100x more than i’ve been using Facebook lately, and i’m going to tell you why Twitter is better than Facebook.
1.) I Can Unfollow You Instead of Unfriend- We’ve all had it before where you meet some drunk bro/girl at the bar and they want to add you on Facebook immediatley, I usually oblige (especially if it’s a girl) and then I wake up the next morning feeling like shit seeing they are fucking annoying. That or you add someone from one of your class groups from school to be able to contact each other easier, but you don’t want to delete them off the Book because you might see them in the hallways and shit just gets awkward. Fuck that on Twitter i’ll click unfollow and go on to the next one, it’s a beautiful thing.
2.) My aunts/12 year old cousins are on it- Story time: I remember back in the days when K.A.S.H. used to get beligerantly drunk and pictres would appear on Facebook from some rando’s who I was mingling with at the bar. My 45 year old aunt comes up to me asking how my partying life is going, and who’s the girl i’m in the pic with is? FUCK THIS. this is my sign to get off Facebook and never come back, no old people should be able to see me when i’ve had about 8 too many Miller Lite’s or i’m trying to swing a girl, this just pisses me off. Another thing is my 12 year old cousins asking me to play FarmVille and asking what I mean when I put up some funny status, shit just bothers the hell outta me. There should be a Facebook for the following ages. 10-17 year old, 18-30 year olds, 30-90 year olds.
3.) Twitter keeps is short, Facebook is story telling time- Ok, once in a while i’ll throw a nice little few sentence message out their for my Facebook fans in a post. Do not get this confused with people going on a fricken tangent posting about their fucking day or their workout, or relationship. Honestly GTFO of here you annoying peasants. Drop 140 characters on me and if you can’t do it in that amount of characters odds are whatever you’re saying is irrelevant.
4.) Selfies- Little disclaimer: Every girl i’m friends with on Facebook,I’m not referring to you, considering i’ve deleted the selfie whores. I shit you not I used to be friends with this chick who posted 3 selfies a day, 1 in the morning, another mid day and one at night in the mirror before bed. It took everything in my power to not comment smart ass comments on these pics. I understand there are days you’re looking good and a selfie is needed and i’m cool with this because you girls are beautiful, but i’m referring to the girl who posts selfies everyday to see how many likes she can get. Just snapped a sick selfie, gonna post of Facebook, prolly get about 3 likes.
P.S.- I pray one day a girl who always posts selfies gets no likes the whole day.. Evil I know but may be some good medicine for her to cool it
5.) PPL who post 5 statuses a day- I’m sorry but if you do this, you’re a fucking loser. I don’t give a fuck: where you ate, how great your workout felt, how blessed you are, what movie you just watched, or what you think about this weather. I do however like this stuff if you post it on Twitter where i can scroll quickly.
7.) Twitter is strictly words not pictures- There are a few times (more Than I can count on both hands) where i’ve slapped The Bull too hard at Cock ‘N Bull or did some regrettable shit when out having a few sodas, but nothing flusters me more than when i’m just all Hammed up and I wake up to 12 just hideous pictures of me doing dumb shit. This is where snapchat should be utilized. Only pic you’ll find of me on Twitter is me looking clean in a baby blue vest, rocking the suit jacket over my shoulder. Such a power move.
8.) People who live for “Likes” One of my best friends is “obsessed with LIKE’s guy”. The kid will seriously put up a status and get a boner every time he gets likes on his status. He tries so hard to make funny statuses or statuses people will like that it just annoys the fuck out of me. If you’re “tries to get likes guy” you can GTFO of here because no one likes you. Attention craving douche bags who have no social life are this person and it bothers me. I will purposley not like a status if I recognize I’m friends with a person like this. However, if you get a Retweet on a Twitter that’s such a Boss move. It’s tough to get a retweet on Twitter unless your Kim K or Miley, If I get a retweet that means someone is bold enough to retweet the crazy inappropriate shit I tweet about. Live for it.
9.) Baby Pictures- I recently had to delete a girl because she made a fucking Facebook account for her 3 month old baby boy. This is fucking ridiculous, thank God she didn’t post statuses under his account, but if I want to see pictures of him i’ll come over to your house with a case of Miller Lite’s and come check out his baby book, until that happens use your head. Tons of chicks are popping out babies and that’s great, but honestly unless i’m one of your best friends I don’t really want to see your babies poop diaper or him in the bath tub. Trust me when I have a kid i’ll love the shit out of him, but I won’t be posting pics of him on Facebook every day, damn kids whole life doesn’t need to be documented for the whole world to see. If someone takes a pic of that kid in a dress and puts it on Facebook he’ll never live that down.
10.) Facebook just copies other sites- Facebook is for the chickens. They steal shit from other social media sites all the time.
1.) The timeline (from Twitter) GTFO of here Facebook Twitter had that trending shit years ago.
2.) Facebook tried to be cool with “sharing” posts and link, nah piss off Zuckerberg i’ll Retweet it, much easier and it sounds cooler.
3.) Hashtags- Yes Facebook tried to steal the single most famous thing Twitter is know for…. Hashtags. Seriously eat my ass Zuckerberg, hashtagging on Facebook just sucks, even though I catch myself doing it. It’s pointless, no one searches hashtags on Facebook.
After further review, maybe I should’ve named this blog “Why I hate Zuckerberg and Facebook”
Damnit now i’m flustered and want to delete my Facebook account